If I Were A Boy..

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
and go

hang out with the guys

and do my homework

i'd practise proper hygeine

and not get too absorbed

by stupid fast cars

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

I wouldnt hang up when she calls
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy

I'ld give her my best

knowing that she appreciates

every moment of that very best

I'ld make the best

of what little time we have left

coz i know and you know

that's all the time we really have

for now

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

I wouldnt hang up when she calls
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you will wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

(Adapted from "If I Were A Boy" by Beyonce Knowles)

[edited] But then again, when is life ever easy? Everyone will have their fair shares of ups and downs. I thought i was the only one in misery, when in fact, the truth is far from otherwise. Though pain and hurts come our way in high tides, with conflicts coming in low tide, we must face it with strength. Allow it to hit you but you must get back on your feet again, just as strong, if not stronger. Well, even if that's not how you face life, at least that's how you face the waves that hit you at sea.

Our journey has been a long and difficult one. No doubt with sweet and good memories in between. But i really dont have the heart to let go. I cant.

I regret all the mistakes that i have made. If i could undo them, i would.

I am sitting on the bench (which was also my bed last night) at the Incheon International Airport as i type this.

The past week plus has been a one hell of an experience.. the awesome experiences, the chilling weather, and the occasional letdowns shall always form a part of my memories in Korea. No doubt, i will never forget the cold-blasted wind that leaves all of us shivering in the wind, the generous buffets provided by the ALSA Korea organisers, the lighted and busy streets of Myeondong, and last but not last, the delightful sights and sounds i have experienced thus far which of course includes the whole new variety of Korean food i have never tasted before in my life.

I have confirmed my distaste for kimchi, i have discovered i love bibimbap, amongst the other delicious street foods here. Korean food is not the typical fare we have at our homes. First and foremost, Koreans dont eat much meat. They eat alot of raw vege and vegetables that we Malaysians are foreign to! Hmm... for the courageous and adventurous, i guess this would be a great chance to explore your taste buds but as for me, i was simply satisfied to keep my stomach full. I guess, Korean food just aint for me.

Nevertheless, it has been an enriching experience thus far. I learnt alot about myself in this trip and about others around me too..

Going back to what i was saying.. we missed our flight back to Malaysia by 20minutes. How unfortunate.. will be boarding the flight tonight though.. When i get back, i will have tons of stuff to do and settle. As i type this, i do feel a little anxiety creeping up for the day that awaits me, the assignments due in a fortnight or so, the revision expected from us students, the tests cropping up, and editorial articles to write. And among all that, i need to quickly learn to deal with the fact that CY will be leaving in approximately one month time.

The only thing that comforts me now is knowing that i am not alone. That everyone single person here, that participated in this ALSA Korea trip must be facing a certain level of stress or other. I guess the differences is just about how you deal with it.

There are always two choices in life.

Things to do: (note to myself)

1. Tort assignment - 11 March 2011

2. TITAS test revision - MONDAY

3. Hubungan etnik - due first week of March

4. APK

5. MLS test revision - first week March

6. English oral test

7. VOX articles

8. Revise contract assignment

anything else?

Food of the Day in Korea

The past few days have been rounds of table discussions with regard to the topic of Environmental law. So it has been quite academic thus far. But the final round of table discussion has ended and the fun shall begin!

Today the Korean organisers brought us around to roam the streets of Insadong. They also took us to Changyeonggung Palace to see how the King used to live in the past. It was interesting.. sort of regretted for not bringing a camera along then. We walked to Insadong after that for lunch where we were served a delicious bowl of claypot Bibimbap. It was the tastious thing i have eaten thus far in the trip here that was Korean. I love everything about it.. the crunchy texture of the rice crust at the bottom, the flavour-some taste of the pepper paste, the bell peppers were cooked well and not too raw..

The second two pictures are of dotteok (delicious korean pancake with honey filling inside)! It's my current favourite food, though i have only tasted it once.. Hopefully i can try it one last time before leaving Korea!

A Busy February

I wouldnt be able to celebrate Valentine's Day on the 14th this year.. well, at least not in the way that i normally do. A little bothered with that.. but then again, Valentine's Day can be celebrated any day. As long as you are having a great day out with your loved ones, i guess it can be considered as "Valentine's Day". ;p

On the 6th February, CY joined my family for lunch at my aunt's house in Kepong. Super touched that he did that coz i know it isnt easy to face ur gf's family, what more their aunts! Everyone chipped in a meal.. my elder aunt whipped up creme brulee, my younger aunt (also the host) ordered three boxes of Ayamas which turned out to be surprisngly tasty and my grandma cooked up her delicious stir-fried macaroni. We also had fruit punch and yee sang. Was super full after all that!

CY and i were supposed to go to Tao Cuisine to meet up with our ex-schoolmates for dinner but because i hadnt fully recovered from my oh-so-long flu... we decided to have a quiet evening at IOI instead. We watched Homecoming and oh boy.... I LOVED IT! It's probably one of my favourite movies of year 2011 after Black Swan perhaps. I was laughing almost all the way.. and when i wasnt, i was too deep in thought of all the issues and matters raised in the one hour plus comedy. It was a truly impressive show!

After the movie, we had Tutti Frutti. My favourite ice-cream, or rather froyo. CY was sort of reluctant at first.. but he eventually conceded to my persuasion. It means alot to me because i know that he only agreed because he wanted me to be happy. And i wont forget that.

I will consider the 6th to be the first part of our Valentine this year, okay? ;p I have been pretty busy lately but i promise i will make up for it later..

As for my previous emo post, all things are well now. Like the advice of the soothsayer for those born in the year of the Goats.. we Goat-people really need to take one step back and try to look at the big picture before bursting in flames. Me writing this doesnt mean i am free-ier now. Truth be told, i have a mountain-full of work left to do with tort and family tutorial as the top of my list. I also need to prepare for MLS and contract.. and oh, not to forget, since i wouldnt be around next week, i wonder if i will be able to contribute to my group in TITAS and Hubungan Etnik? And i still have the UNT competition to face when i come back. oh and did i mention that i will be removing my braces by the end of this month... hmmm...

I love you, Lee Chee Yuan, Alwyn! Thanks for popping over again to take me out for desserts at Snowflakes again..

When you have been depending on other people all your life, it sorts of sucks when you fall face flat on the ground with no one to support you or to even offer to pull you up.

I have been trying to keep strong but it is not easy. Life just seems to have her ways of pulling you down, just like gravity.

Really disappointed with one of my family members. Always thought i could count on them. Didnt think that a simple request like what i had was turned down. It wasnt like i was demanding one million ringgit from them, not even a hundred ringgit for god sakes! All i was asking for was permission to have a safer flight.

Feeling the scorches of heat from life right now. Everything just seems to have so many nasty corners. University has so many things.. assignments, tests, tutorials, activities.. all demanding a piece of me. Not that i wouldnt want to give but i just dont have so many parts of me to give. I am only one. I cant split myself into so many.

Well and truly feeling the pinch of life right now.

On The First Day of CNY

Dunno why but the thought suddenly occured to me that CNY to me, is about the same every year.

CNY eve is the same, first day is the same, second day would be the same too. I wondered when this cycle will ever change.... and the answer came pretty simple to me.

When you get married, of course. hmmm...?

The one thing i like about new years is the opportunity i get to watch all my little cousins, nieces, and nephews grow so dramatically. My cousin whom has just started secondary school, is the little baby i remember that needed to be craddled in the "swing" for him to sleep. My half-nephews have all grown... the three brothers whom i remember were all once babies are now schooling in international schools. It's amazing what a few years can do to kids, and i was once one - not too long ago too!

I look at my half cousin's wife who has just given birth to a beautiful baby boy and i marvel at what a few months can do to change a person's life. The last time i saw that couple, they were inviting us to their wedding!

I love to watch these kind of "phenomenas".. They dont happen everyday. It's really beautiful, it makes me cant wait till i get my turn. Maybe what i am saying right now is in the "heat of the moment", but i really cant wait to marry, start a family, have a baby to love and care for

together with my husband. Maybe i wont even mind gaining the extra weight from a pregnancy because I know it will be an amazing feeling to have a child together with someone you love. That feeling is priceless. It's too bad i am longing for all that when there is still a long time ahead. More than five years, more than six, more than seven. hmm...

Anyway, going off to my mom's hometown tomorrow. Might just be baking some delicious banana cupcakes in Bagan Datoh!

Oh btw, here's a picture of me preparing the chilli paste for the reunion dinner. Fyi, chilli is a must for my family, espeically me.

Metta got curious and decided to watch over me while i pounded the chilli. But since he has a short attention span, he decided to pose a few shots for me. Hehe. He is such a cutie.