BOYS

Having a relationship is not easy. A few years back when i first started secondary school, i thought having a boyfriend was cool. People were saying relationships are difficult, young people (like me, then) shouldnt jump into one so early, that we have so much of our lives ahead and shouldnt be tying down to some one at such an early stage of life. Back then, i told myself, if i ever do enter into a relationship, i would do it all right. I wouldnt need to fight with my boyfriend over petty issues, didnt need to worry about this and that of a relationship, and i was that naive to believe that love conquers all. I thought i was smart enough to know the psyche behind a boy's mind and that with that knowledge, i could tackle any relationship and make it smooth-sailing. (To prove my point, i was actually genuinely clueless on why books like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" were such a hit.)

Dont get me wrong, i am not one to object anybody jumping into a relationship regardless of how young, or how old they are. It's just six years and two relationships forward, now that i am 19 turning onto 20, i have come to realise the truth of all those old (and nonsensical) adults back then. A relationship is not all about having fun, it's not even just about being in love. A relationship is about a commitment with another person that involves not just love, but trust and respect. And oh boy, a relationship aint easy.

I really dont know how to put my thoughts into words right now, but what i am trying to put out is that understanding the opposite gender aint easy. Just like how i thought i knew everything there is to know about boys, it turned out that i am still pretty clueless about that other gender that shares this planet with us girls.

I thought guys like playing hard to get, but i was wrong.

I thought guys didnt like playing hard to get when they have gotten you, but i was wrong too.

I thought there are guys who would actually know how to appreciate girls for who they are, but i was wrong.

Then again, when I thought almost all guys are shallow creatures that are only attracted to hang out with attractive looking girls, i was wrong too.

I thought guys didnt really care about feelings, (yup!) and i got it wrong there.

But when i saw that not all guys are the feeling-feeling type, i realised that i got it wrong again!

I really cant fathom the mind of the boy. I really thought i had it all covered.

When we have a stable relationship, i thought we can be as honest and as close to each other as we like. That means, not playing hard to get, calling the guy when you do miss him, confiding in him about how you really feel and not pretend that you are too busy to answer his call. But somehow, maybe, i got it wrong here, all over again. Because it seems, from all the advice i am taking, maybe it is better if i do. Yet, i dont have the heart to because my heart is telling me that isnt the right thing to do.

You tell me, am i right or wrong this time?