The Thing About Being Single

Looking around me.. I am gently, but surely surprised to see that quite a number of my friends have already been taken. These things dont happen overnight of course but being the person looking from the outside, I cant help but wonder how did all that happen. These were single people around me, and we lived quite similar lives in the faculty etc. and yet in the same period of time that I have spent studying, emo-ing, conducting activities, etc., these people have gotten themselves attached. Well, I am happy for everyone who has found their other half, especially if they met them in university. Perfect dream right? You can spend THAT much of healthy time together and at the same time, still continue to pursue your dreams. Looking back, I laugh at myself for not seeing the sense in what my mother used to tell me: "Find a boyfriend in university". That time, I thought those were the words of a young women who has outgrown her era. But now, I understand why she says that. But I am not sure whether to agree or disagree.

I mean, if you can find a partner in university, great! But if you dont, is that a reason to fret?

Is it?

Personally, I would be a little worried. haha. People say that after you graduate, you will have to focus on building your career, and when that is settled, you will want to start your family. But a family doesnt just appear from nowhere. Ideally, the family would come from the union of you and your beau whom you have met from university. hmm...

But what if you dont find the right one in uni??

Well, it really doesnt mean anything. Not cursing anyone, but relationships can be really unpredictable at most times. You might be the sweetest couple at one point.. but months down the road, anything can happen to change that. It doesnt matter whether you have professed your everlasting love to him/her. Circumstances change, feelings change. Even if the feelings remain, the challenges thrown at you is enough to make a gap in any relationship. Of course, there are many relationships who brave this storm, and eventually come out of it stronger than ever. I wish I had that too. But even if a relationship fails, it is never entirely the fault of one party only.

I have come to realise that you cant judge how good a relationship is simply by the frequency your bf/gf messages you, or by the number of hours you spend together. At one point of time, these were very important things to me. The more hours together, the better. It didnt matter whether we used that time to fight or make up, as long as it was time that we were in the presence of each other, it was enough. Some people might think it silly, but yea that was the past me. But when i look back at it now, I wonder how is it possible that my views and needs on a relationship has changed so much, although not entirely drastically, over a span of less than one year.

I am no longer in a hurry to get attached. I want to take this opportunity to grow. To appreciate the many little things in life that I used to take for granted. Like how he would call me back each time after I hung up the phone, or appear at my house after every quarrel. Where he would whisk me off to a surprise place making me guess all the way. Or the little little things like respecting my choice on certain matters.

In addition..

Just like the millions of women before me, I am beginning to realise that I cannot settle for Mr. Alright while waiting for Mr. Right to arrive. Call me idealistic, but I really cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with a person that I am only okay with. This will the father of your children, the man who you will be cleaning after, cooking for, and not to forget the other additional favours in the bedroom.*winks* You will be expected to sacrifice your career for this man, even if that doesnt always happen. Will you do that for Mr. Alright?

Maybe in the past, women had less say. So having a man to marry was good enough news for her. But the situation isnt the same anymore. In some ways even, the tables have turned! This si the era wear girls wear jeans and pants, just like the men. They work in the same society as men, and are almost, if not already, on the same par as men. Why do they need to settle for anything less than best?

hmm... ok. Maybe this is the mentality of most feminist and this is what is partially contributing to the higher numbers of single unmarried women in the world. Yet, I cant help but echo my thoughts in the same sentiment.

Last but not least, I would just like to say that my ideal guy is very simple. He must know how to cook, wash, do housechores, garden, must love dogs, taller than 172cm, earn more than me, can speak at least three languages, shaves everyday, cannot be a smoker/vegetarian, must love eating food especially desserts, drive me everywhere, love his mother and his family, surprise me with simple and random things ever so often, write love letters to me, take me out on romantic trips, read romantic novels with me, sings well, speaks well, intelligent, plays three different types of musical instruments preferably the guitar, violin and piano, is not too fat but cannot be too thin, wears collared shirts on dates, has a huge dic..tionary, yada yada yada.

haha just joking. Caught you there, didnt I?

Love is blind and for all you know.. your Mr. Right can be the total opposite of your ideal guy. Relationships is all about feelings, forget the checklist! Even if he isnt right there infront of you now, have faith that he will come, and one day, when the time is right, he will.