R v Dudley & Stephens

Criminal law has always been one of my more favourite subjects this semester, if I actually do have one. One of the most appealing cases I have come across thus far was a case that tried to use the defence of necessity in getting an acquital for ...

for what? Give a guess..

...

...

Cannibalism!!!

Of all things.

These four people were cast away on the high seas without food and water for a period of time. Admittedly, it can get very depressing to be isolated for so long without any food and water for such an unspecified period of time... but eating your own people? Like, SERIOUSLY?

Two of the men decided to kill the young boy that was cast along with them. The reason being that he was the youngest (and supposedly, therefore the weakest). They survived on his flesh for a few days before being actually rescued. Talk about coincidence.

When tried in court, they alleged that it was a necessity to kill the boy and eat his flesh so that they can save their own ass.

Obviously, the court could not let them rely on the defence of necessity! It's one thing to steal food to satisfy your hunger pangs, but killing another man??? Public policy, like duh!

Anyway, I was just wondering what the third man did while the other two feasted on the poor (deceased) boy on the boat. Wouldnt it be creepy to be staying on the same boat as someone who is willing to kill your fellow friend just so that they themselves survive? And isnt it gross to eat RAW human flesh? I'ld rather swim in the sea and risk myself being eaten my sharks, or maybe not. hmm..

Fascinating case, I mean the facts.

To everyone, wishing all of you a great year ahead. This will probably be my last post for the year 2011. Would end it with this quote. "The past is an illusion, the future a dream. All we really have is the present."

Early Resolutions 2012

And.. before you know it, 2011 has passed before your very eyes and 2012 awaits you.

Five days short of the entire year, I would like to say that this was a truly bumpy year. I had my fair share of tears, but just as much laughter as well. It is sad that so many things have changed since the beginning of the year, but I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned thus far.

Unlike the previous years before where I never considered how I have improved over the year, i can proudly say that I have changed for the better this year. Just like how you need to fall to learn how to skate, how you need to make mistakes before you learn, I guess this was what year 2011 had for me - a year of learning where I went wrong.

Wanted to write a lengthy post on what I learned throughout this year but then I realise that I could not possibly say enough. I guess learning is a life long process and it shall only end with our last breath on this earth.

I can predict that I shall begin my new year with a bang. First two months have already been confirmed to be hectic, with exams, camps, an international conference to organise, medical and dental appointments, maybe even setting a new club in university?, and the beginning of semester 2, year 2. It makes me realise that there is so much more to life than what meets the eye. And I shall look forward to all that, with much enthusiasm. As for my resolutions, I shall keep them simple for the year 2012.

1. Set up taekwondo gtf in UM

2. Continue to expand my horizons

3. Be kind and compassionate to everybody i meet along the way

Fingers crossed, 2012 will be more eventful than 2011. I dont believe the world will end next year!!!

Seriously Drained Out This Week

Lots of things going on in my life now. Exams coming up soon, and the past week has indeed been a busy one, giving me more responsibilities for the future.

Yes, I got the post of Secretary. Most people might have considered it as granted since it was uncontested right to the very end. But i beg to differ. Even when the post is uncontested, the tension and stress is still there having to impress your potential voters. Giving the speech before the voting session commenced, that is what partially affects your vote too. and i am aware, in the law faculty there are some very very particular people who are very concerned with the affairs in ALSA so you have to make sure you meet up to their standard. I was pleasantly surprised to have earned so many of the votes of the peopel present during the AGM. Only one person voted against, and there were two void votes. The rest all voted in favour. I am aware there are a handful of people who might not have gotten a good impression from the first day that I've stepped into the law faculty. So... perhaps I just have to continue giving my best 'till one day they will see. First impressions are important, but in the end, even impressions can change.

Yesterday was Ko-k day. Really proud to know that my Taekwon-do group won 3rd place out of so many other activity groups. This shall be the end of my ko-k days, going to class in the evening every friday.. But I feel like I dont want it to end. I enjoy the way the master conducts the class, love the company. And most importantly, taekwon-do does make me feel good about myself. Heard there will be a tournament next year. interested to join.. and master keeps pushing for us to form a club. I would love to do that! But once again, I will need to reconsider all my commitments. I already have so much at hand. No doubt taekwon-do is one of my refound passions.. so will have to think about this again after the exams are over.

Picture of the class.

Anyways hopefully no more activities will crop up till my exams are over. Really really need to start concentrating. Havent been able to for the past few days due to all that has been happening. Insomnia for 2 days seriously!

Mini Update for the Week

Didnt do much today. Thought of writing about something that has been on my mind the whole day but words dont come easy. Typing and backspacing the whole time. The coming week will be the final week of the semester before we will be released for study break (2 weeks) and then the exams shall begin. I always thought that first year went by so quickly until I got into my second year. Then i realised that it went even faster than first year. Wonder whether it just gets faster and faster.

The coming week will be a busy one. One filled with lots and lots of replacement classes and tutorials that on most times, I just get so confused with the times. Running for the (so far) uncontested post of Secretary of ALSA UM. If anyone is interested, please come for our AGM this Wednesday, 6pm. I dont mind having a little competition. Just that... I am not sure where this is heading to. I was kind of planning to leave all my commitments in the law faculty after this semester and try my hands at other things. Was contemplating getting a part-time job at a bakery or taking up taekwon-do all over again.. but if i really do continue being active in the faculty activities.. I will have to let my plan go. So... so, if you want to be secretary and contest for the post with me, please come! LOL

And I am really nervous for what's going to happen on Thursday. Wait for my updates then..

ALSA Lecture Series

Just back from a day at UM for the ALSA Lecture Series. Must surely say that the event was quite the success.. everything went quite smoothly.. the speakers were engaging, the turn out was pretty good, people complimented the food, yea.. no hiccups. It is kind of sad that only when this year's ALSA committee is stepping down, only am i beginning to appreciate this team. The people are great - friendly, happy and kind people, they dont backstab, and we have a great time with each other. Wonder how the next committee will be like, and wonder whether i will be a part of it considering that so many of them are planning to leave after this round.

Well, putting that aside, life is returning back to normal. I got an offer to participate in a student exchange programme in South Chine University of Technology from June 15 2012 till 23 July 2012. Funny how i got that university the previous round but turned it down to make time for a special person then, and fast forward a year later, i still get the same uni offer. Maybe fate has something in store for me in that place? Being a little too superstitious here. haha. I will think about it, but i will probably go.

resentment only births more resentment

you cannot find love in anger

nor hurt

you tried so hard many years ago

i gave all i could in the recent months

hoping a second chance was what we needed

perhaps the chance came too soon

for us to not truly appreciate the other

conversations no longer flow easy

anger and hurt seethes through every word

my love alone will not be enough

to free us both from our pain

and that is why i resolve

to walk away

the future remains unknown

we will never know

Watch this, it is hilarious!

[Added] At leastI can seek comfort, that it is a universal thing that girls behave like that. Or at least, until they learn how to deal with guys.

Formosa (SSTwo Mall)

Okay, some trashing ahead. I normally dont blog bad things about the restaurants I visit because I am normally just too excited about trying new food but this restaurant is one that I am terribly disappointed with! Maybe it was just my family and I who didnt have the luck today!

We went to Formosa Restaurant at SSTwo Mall for lunch. SSTwo Mall is quite a new place in SS2. Lots of the shops were not open yet and the place was quite deserted. Anyways, we choose Formosa because my grandmother came along and we needed to make sure there was some chinese food that she could at least consume.

There were five sets offered but in the end, my mother, brother and grandmother ordered the same thing.. that is the oyster mee sua whereas my dad and I ordered the three cup sauce chicken set. We were supposed to pay for the food at the cashier to order so my mom went to pay first. And when the receipt came, i noticed that my dad and my three cup sauce chicken had somehow mysteriously been converted to sausage set! Went to correct her and when the food came, oh yea... it was chicken but it wasnt three cup sauce chicken. It was fried chicken! God bless that woman for taking down the order wrongly two times to the same customer!

We had Taiwan Milk tea, not too sweet, in fact it was a little bitter, if it wasnt for the pearls. And the three cup sauce chicken that eventually came was quite inedible for me. the taste of that peppermint leave thingy was way too strong that even in the car, i still felt like sick because of the smell. My brother and mother had to finish my chicken for me. So maybe it's a personal taste that I dont like it. The oyster mee sua was so-so. I didnt try it but again, my mom said it was okay. Presentation wise, the food looked nice. But I dont think the food is worth the price. I would rather go to any hawker stall and have my mee sua or chicken rice. The three cup sauce chicken costs RM7. Taiwan milk tea was RM3.80, RM4.30 with pearls.

But as much as I have to criticize this place, I must say that there are some people who went to the same place and found the food to be nice. So perhaps, it might really just be my bad food day.

Wouldnt be in a hurry to go back to SSTwo Mall though. Not much stuff to see there yet, and the food choices are quite limited.

On a different note, it's really time to hit the books.

Pasta Zanmai (Sunway Pyramid)

Birthday celebration lunch for my mother today. We initially wanted to go to Pasta de Gohan but strangely, the restaurant has disappeared from Sunway Pyramid. I swear it was where a new vegetarian restaurant is!

So we went to Pasta Zanmai instead. The thing about the Zanmais is that there are more expensive. A meal for two can easily rake up to RM50. And we had five heads.

Ice Fruit tea RM16 per jug. Average only but presentation wise, it was quite nice. Served in this really tall vase-like jug.

One plate of unagi..

Grandmother had a place of unagi rice with egg.

I particularly liked my brother's choice. Seafood Tomato Cream Sauce Pasta RM26. It had a creamy taste to the spaghetti with just the tinge of tangy-ness.

Salmon. didnt try this. Was too busy eating my rice.

I had Chicken Katsu with Curry Rice. RM22 without set. The curry was pretty mild for my taste. Reminded me very much of Indian dahl but I guess the ingredients put in is different. Cant remember what this is called (above pic) but it tasted quite nice. Probably because of the mayonaise on the top. And the cucumber inside gave it that extra crunch.
Oh this pizza was delicious. Well, to me it did. It's called Meat Sauce and Japanese Rice Cake Cheese Pizza. RM22. It had a very strong bolognaise meat scent and this complemented well with the cheese. But my dad didnt like it as much. So i dunno, maybe it's a personal taste.

After the meal.

And that is how my Friday is.

December 2011 has finally crept in. It's crazy how many things have happened in this one year. Who could have imagined? I remember how my December was like last year.. And more so, will I not forget my last Christmas. No, I dont celebrate Christmas but last 25 December is something I will never forget in my life. Well, at least I can be thankful for the memories.

Kepong Retreat

Went off for a random one day trip to Kepong. Escaping is not always the best way to resolve your problems but for some things, it is better just to get away from all the havoc and chaos in life so you can be at peace and think better.

It's nice spending time away from all things familiar at times. Just to leave everything that you have on your hands at the moment, and do what you feel like. I watched Bangkok Traffic Story last night! Such a sweet movie.. Goes to show that if it is meant to be, it will be. But how often does it really happen in real life? Ahh.. you go figure it yourself.

Had lots and lots of food today. Dim sum for brunch at some restaurant in Kepong. Cant remember it's name now.

Egg tarts were one of the nicest stuff I tried. The others were very typical dim sums.

Yummy yam kok. ;p

Then spent the day walking around in One U.

Strawberry magic from My Honeymoon Dessert.

Aloe Vera Summer Special

Also bought some CNY clothes..

1. A pair of gorgeous heels (RM68 after discount) The picture is not doing the heels justice!!!

2. Skinny jeans (RM69.90)

3. Three tank tops (3 for RM50)

In case you do not know, one of my fashion fantasies is to wear a top with skinny jeans and a gorgeous pair of heels with it. Though it appears to be very simple, it is something I have never worn before, simply because I never had that many pair of nice skinny jeans or heels with me! And now.. I have both! Haha... but will be looking out for more nice pairs of heels before I can carry this style off everyday.

And this is a dress I bought online a month or so ago. Simple and nice.. though they shouldnt cut back on the quality so much.

Had dinner at Restoran Jan Ye also in Kepong. The restaurant specialises in steamed fish!

Kangkung was so-so. Not spicy enough and a little too watery to my liking. But vege was fresh and juicy.
Fish was quite fresh. A little too much ginger for me but taste is still acceptable. Enjoyed the company more than the food though. ahh.. wth. hehe

Overall, really glad I had this weekend to rejuvenate and revitalise. Cheers everybody. Here's to more meaningful days to come.

Smiles

Very often I tend to forget this.. but when you smile, most of the time, the world will smile with you.

When you talk to people, when you open up to others, you are giving a chance for people to step into your world. And perhaps, that is the way life should be. It's about giving everyone an opportunity to be a part of your life. No man is an island, we can never survive in this world alone. It is the people around you who makes things worthwhile. Dont discriminate, dont judge. Just have a good time and laugh at the simple things in life! :)

A picture of Metta and I from a few months back.. look at that big wide smile of Metta. Always smiling and happieee...

I've to keep writing, keep blogging, keep reading. Just doing anything is better than nothing at the moment.

No matter how bleak my situation seems right now, I must always remind myself that one day i will see the light at the end of the tunnel, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, whatever you choose to call it. I must, or else what use is there even in walking anymore in this place.

And before I sign off, a reminder to myself and anyone else out there who needs it..

"Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered by your old nonsense" - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The Thing About Being Single

Looking around me.. I am gently, but surely surprised to see that quite a number of my friends have already been taken. These things dont happen overnight of course but being the person looking from the outside, I cant help but wonder how did all that happen. These were single people around me, and we lived quite similar lives in the faculty etc. and yet in the same period of time that I have spent studying, emo-ing, conducting activities, etc., these people have gotten themselves attached. Well, I am happy for everyone who has found their other half, especially if they met them in university. Perfect dream right? You can spend THAT much of healthy time together and at the same time, still continue to pursue your dreams. Looking back, I laugh at myself for not seeing the sense in what my mother used to tell me: "Find a boyfriend in university". That time, I thought those were the words of a young women who has outgrown her era. But now, I understand why she says that. But I am not sure whether to agree or disagree.

I mean, if you can find a partner in university, great! But if you dont, is that a reason to fret?

Is it?

Personally, I would be a little worried. haha. People say that after you graduate, you will have to focus on building your career, and when that is settled, you will want to start your family. But a family doesnt just appear from nowhere. Ideally, the family would come from the union of you and your beau whom you have met from university. hmm...

But what if you dont find the right one in uni??

Well, it really doesnt mean anything. Not cursing anyone, but relationships can be really unpredictable at most times. You might be the sweetest couple at one point.. but months down the road, anything can happen to change that. It doesnt matter whether you have professed your everlasting love to him/her. Circumstances change, feelings change. Even if the feelings remain, the challenges thrown at you is enough to make a gap in any relationship. Of course, there are many relationships who brave this storm, and eventually come out of it stronger than ever. I wish I had that too. But even if a relationship fails, it is never entirely the fault of one party only.

I have come to realise that you cant judge how good a relationship is simply by the frequency your bf/gf messages you, or by the number of hours you spend together. At one point of time, these were very important things to me. The more hours together, the better. It didnt matter whether we used that time to fight or make up, as long as it was time that we were in the presence of each other, it was enough. Some people might think it silly, but yea that was the past me. But when i look back at it now, I wonder how is it possible that my views and needs on a relationship has changed so much, although not entirely drastically, over a span of less than one year.

I am no longer in a hurry to get attached. I want to take this opportunity to grow. To appreciate the many little things in life that I used to take for granted. Like how he would call me back each time after I hung up the phone, or appear at my house after every quarrel. Where he would whisk me off to a surprise place making me guess all the way. Or the little little things like respecting my choice on certain matters.

In addition..

Just like the millions of women before me, I am beginning to realise that I cannot settle for Mr. Alright while waiting for Mr. Right to arrive. Call me idealistic, but I really cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with a person that I am only okay with. This will the father of your children, the man who you will be cleaning after, cooking for, and not to forget the other additional favours in the bedroom.*winks* You will be expected to sacrifice your career for this man, even if that doesnt always happen. Will you do that for Mr. Alright?

Maybe in the past, women had less say. So having a man to marry was good enough news for her. But the situation isnt the same anymore. In some ways even, the tables have turned! This si the era wear girls wear jeans and pants, just like the men. They work in the same society as men, and are almost, if not already, on the same par as men. Why do they need to settle for anything less than best?

hmm... ok. Maybe this is the mentality of most feminist and this is what is partially contributing to the higher numbers of single unmarried women in the world. Yet, I cant help but echo my thoughts in the same sentiment.

Last but not least, I would just like to say that my ideal guy is very simple. He must know how to cook, wash, do housechores, garden, must love dogs, taller than 172cm, earn more than me, can speak at least three languages, shaves everyday, cannot be a smoker/vegetarian, must love eating food especially desserts, drive me everywhere, love his mother and his family, surprise me with simple and random things ever so often, write love letters to me, take me out on romantic trips, read romantic novels with me, sings well, speaks well, intelligent, plays three different types of musical instruments preferably the guitar, violin and piano, is not too fat but cannot be too thin, wears collared shirts on dates, has a huge dic..tionary, yada yada yada.

haha just joking. Caught you there, didnt I?

Love is blind and for all you know.. your Mr. Right can be the total opposite of your ideal guy. Relationships is all about feelings, forget the checklist! Even if he isnt right there infront of you now, have faith that he will come, and one day, when the time is right, he will.

The Epiphany

Alright, so I have been down in the dumps for faaaar too long, in my honest opinion.

But a thought just occurred to me. And I realised that there is no point fretting over the small stuff. I guess everyone has been saying it to me all along.. dont read too much into things, be grateful for all the other happy things that you have in your life, that life still has to go on, yada yada. These things are always true but how often do we hear it and let it out from the other ear. Loads of times, right?

It hit me this evening.. I only have one life. I want to be happy. But I cant expect others to make me happy when I myself is not happy. I have wasted my one week of precious holiday by being sad but what has it done to me? Nothing, except make me lose 1kg. haha. A tiny fleck of dust, even, will look enormous under a microscope. But when you choose to see it as it is - in reality, you will realise that the little lint of dust is nothing compared to other things.

I'm not gonna pretend that my life is perfect and all. Yet, this doesnt give me a reason to sulk and be sad. I want to be grateful for all the other things in life that has and will give me opportunities to smile.

I'm glad I got to meet so many wonderful people from the Incovar camp who never fail to be a good friend when you need one.

Also grateful to have met new friends at Paws Mission who along with their presence, created lots of fond memories to be remembered. These friends.. though we come from so different backgrounds, are still able to bond and have a fun time together. Love every minute being with all of you.

Old friends from almost a decade ago, still being able to talk with easy banter... that's happiness too right?

And not to forget, my family.. especially my mom who never fails to care for me. You rock the most.

I am not dead, so I should stop acting like a dead corpse. It's never too late to be happy. And this is what I resolve to be.

Ice-cream Cake

Made ice-cream cake. Meagre first attempt. Next time, I will definitely use whipping cream instead to decorate the cake, defrost the cake 10 minutes before cutting, and use soem other flavour of ice-cream. hahaha. nvm, at least almost everyone enjoyed it.

A Sanctuary

I want to run away

from all this pain..

fears, hurt, jealousy,

resentment, disappointment, anger

I want to escape

to a place

where happiness is abound

where only tears of joys exist

and sincerity is in every act

A place where I can always seek

forgiveness for the mistakes i've done

no vengeance

no hidden agendas

Everything can be taken for what it means

and not the meaning within

Wouldnt it be wonderful if life could be

more honest and direct?

no blame, no games?

If I ever get a glimpse of that sanctuary

dare i say that

i will never leave it again?

Fresh Cream Cake with Pineapple and Bananas

Ta-daa... Fresh Cream Cake with pineapple and bananas. It's for my aunt's birthday. Will upload the picture of the interior of the cake pretty soon but kinda feel lazy now. Anyways this is just a simple sponge cake with loads of whipped cream and tropical fruits. haha. But one of the reasons this is a nice cake is because it is light and not too sweet. Will definitely still need to work on the appearance of my fresh cream cakes in the future though.

[Added: These pictures have just been added in]

The interior of the cake.

I have a test tomorrow. Somehow I wonder whether this is a whole new me that has emerged. I dont feel stressed? Well, at least not yet. It's kinda bad. 'Cause I dont feel that urge to study. Somebody kick me!

Anyways, till then. Holidays flew by before my eyes. Didnt think it would go so fast. Seriously will need to plan my holidays better if I dont want to waste anymore precious time.

Paws Mission Training Crew

My past few posts have been a lot about dogs. Well, this will be another one if you dont mind. Just like how my holiday was filled with baking and cakes, my current free time is spent a lot on dogs. For those who are not aware, Paws Mission is an animal shelter along Old Klang Road (you can ask me for directions!) that was set up by volunteers. The shelter practises a no-kill policy so all strays that are sent here are either adopted or continue to live their lives at the shelter. Currently they have 100+ dogs of various sizes, breeds and temperaments. But all are equally special and adorable in their own way.

The past five weeks have been an uforgettable journey. I stepped into this not expecting anything but an opportunity to handle strays but I gained so much more than that. I met lots of lovely people who seem to have the same goal and love for dogs as me, I have learnt so much from the training, and more so, it has coloured my life in such a beautiful way that I would not have gotten this experience anywhere else.

On the first week, TJ(he trains us to train our dogs) got everyone to pick a dog. One that we would like to train. There was one dog that caught my eye from the first time i saw him. The one TJ pointed out as the pack leader. Haha.. I didnt choose him because he was the pack leader but more of because he looked really cool and there was something about the way he carried himself that attracted me. Lemme introduce you to.. Serdang.

Me posing with Serdang

We started our training after that. We went through the basic commands but on most sessions, we emphasised on "Sit" and "Heel". The beautiful thing about the sessions was that.. the training wasnt just about the dogs. It was about how we projected ourselves to the world too, including the dogs. Very often, it was pointed out by TJ that all the dogs I am in charged of like to use their paw to step on my foot. I used to like it when Metta did it to me and thought it normal. In fact, I thought it was kind of a way for him to express his affection towards me. Maybe something like "Hey, you're mine". Lol. Little did I know that it meant that the dog is being dominant over you. oh wow.

So anyways, my five week stint with Serdang ended. At the end of it, he was more laid-back and as for me, I learnt on how I could improve on myself. And somehow, I seem to have gotten attached to him. Although he can really push my buttons sometimes by acting so cool and he absolutely LOVES marking his territory by pee-ing everywhere, including me, I have grown fond of how calm he is compared to the other dogs. He is also very good-looking and most important of all, he recognises me! He runs over to me everytime i visit his kennel. Very touching right? :')

I now have a new dog to train. Elisa. That's me with her in the picture below. Isnt she pretty with her doe-like eyes? She has an almost similar attitude to Serdang but no one can really replace Serdang in my heart. And Elisa tends to give shocking yelps when she doesnt like something i make her do. Makes me look like the evil bully. :( Perhaps it is the first day so we need getting used to.

Picture above, from left: Elise, Yoyo (Elise's 2nd dog), Yi Hou, Chocolate (Yi Hou's 2nd dog), me, Elisa, Crystal, Rosie (Crystal's 2nd dog), TJ, Aaron, and Ruinmo (Aaron's 2nd dog).

Picture below, from top left to right: Aaron, TJ, auntie from the shelter, Taikor(pack leader of area in front of temple), uncle from the shelter, and Yi Hou

From bottom left to right: Flower (elise's first dog), Elise, me, Serdang (my first dog), uncle from shelter, Sasa (Crystal's first dog), and Crystal.

We had group photos taken last Saturday because of some promo events coming up. Adoption drives, charity events... oh ya, there will be an adoption drive at the shelter this Sunday. Do drop by if you feel like adopting a handsome dog (hint hint, like Serdang!). I suspect that there might be some dog demo for potential adopters to see as well. Another charity event will be organised on the 19th November. More details will be revealed on Paws Mission's website and facebook page.

This is me holding up a new puppy that just came into the shelter. Got dumped by DBKL, if i am not mistaken.

So that's all from me today. Please remember the two events I mentioned above.

1. The adoption drive this Sunday

2. Wag N Roll (19 November 2011) - charity concert organised for Paws Mission

And before I forget, credits to the two wonderful photographers, Crystal and Elise for the pictures. :)

Some people are worth waiting for a lifetime. But not all. You have to know who is.

On a separate note, I have been consistently taking Metta out for runs everyday since Saturday. The day that TJ came to my house and taught me a few tricks on how to handle my furryball of fluff. Today, I decided to give the bike a rest since I kinda feel like it's a little too exhausting for Metta. Walked him instead. I love Metta to bits right now. The story of 10 Promises to My Dog comes to my mind. When Metta was a puppy, I spent all the time i had with him. Played cops and robbers with him, gave him tummy rubs, taught him how to climb staircases, fed him milk etc. But as he gradually grew bigger and harder to handle, and along with my increasing busy life, I began to neglect him. Even then, Metta never gave up on me. He continued to treat me with just as much love as always and still trusted me enough to give him tummy rubs. And now, 10 years later, after 5 years of secondary school, 2 broken relationships, a year away from home, countless fights and tears.. Metta is still here with me. As forgiving as ever. I promise I wont take you for granted anymore Metta.

haha, now I just hope i dont end up suffocating him with my love. Just as I always do with the people I choose to love.

Metta Can Run! :)

I havent been this happy for so long. Seeing Metta run happily along with a bike... it's so beautiful! Imagine riding a bike, one hand on the steering part and another hand holding onto Metta's leash. Combining two of my favourite things together!!! Didnt know Metta could be so obedient. If i could tell him, I would tell him that I am so proud of him. Gonna try taking him out for a run tomorrow as well. Fingers crossed, I wouldnt be disappointed! :)

The Right Thing To Do

I remember not too long ago, I wrote that there is actually no right or wrong in life. That no matter what you do, you just have to follow your heart. And as long as your heart says its right, it's right. Funny how it's so much easier to give advice to others but not to yourself. Even realising that there is no right or wrong does not help provide me with an answer now.

A person who is special to me will always be special to me. And no one can ever change that fact. But even so, things are still capable of being complicated. I can choose to do whatever i want which would fall in the grey area... but because it is grey, i might view it as something neutral whereas others might view it as wrong. When people face these type of dilemmas, what do they do?

the wind

Everything is constantly changing. Circumstances, emotions, people, responsibilities, rights. You might be at one place at one point in time, and no matter how much you try to stay at that one place, life or rather, the forces in life, will eventually make you move. I like to think of things that way, whenever the going gets tough. At least, I am assured that whatever pain I am going through is temporary only.

You came and you left,

Like the wind,

Strong and hard-on

Leaving me walking to the direction

of your choice

And now,

now that the wind has passed

i am stranded on this lonesome path

a lone stranger

on this journey to nowhere

Each day passes

i'm constantly questioning

the sacrifices i make

I wonder

if everything i am doing

is worth the wait.

The wind is uncertain

it can be cold one day

humid the next

and just nice after that

It comes when it foresees a storm

but disappears when the day is bright

Always dragging me back

only to leave me there standing alone

Is it too much of me to behave the way i did simply because i am afraid of getting hurt?

Maybe one day when i am truly ready to take that leap of faith, i will. And i will not have any fears or regrets after that.

A thousand words even, will not be able to convince you.

CAFTA

Back from a day at Shangrila Hotel. Things didnt turn out so bad after all.. Initially, i felt a little used by them 'cause they didnt provide logistics and all. But i guess when all the work is done, and is actually acknowledged, in addition to being treated to a delicious buffet lunch and dinner on top of one bag full of Hwa Tai biscuits.. it just makes things better. And oh ya, my duty was to walk the VIPs and VVIPs from the stage to their seats. Cool or what eh? :) Currently exhausted with no mood to study or complete my homework.

Managed to snap a picture of the desserts i ate. (From top right, clockwise) Mango pudding with sago, strawberry mouse, mango mousse, and opera cake. I enjoyed the opera cake the most because it had a strong flavour to it - expresso, chocolate and cream. Yum.

Note the layers in the opera cake. Cake, cream, chocolate, topped with a layer of ganache. I wanna make opera cake one day.

Light in the Darkness

A picture that is long overdue.. a picture of me with Serdang. (He is called Serdang because he was rescued from that area). He is a very sweet boy. Never snapped at me. Maybe just a little hesitant in obeying orders but i have faith in him. Visit Paws Mission to find out more about their activities. I will be bathing Serdang next week. Life isnt easy, is it? Especially when it involves matters of the heart. I just wanna avoid complications for now. At least, i think i know what is the right thing to do now.

#justsaying

A couple that has been together for the longest time is only sweet if they are happy being with each other. No point wishing a relationship could have lasted longer if it will only bring more sadness and misery to both parties. Isnt it better just to end it while things are still forgivable? And maybe with time, the two will learn to appreciate what the other had and accept what they were lacking in?

The thing is, sometimes that doesnt happen. Sometimes, people just move on. The bottomline is, we can never tell what the future holds for us.

I wish that I could eventually be with someone i can trust with all my heart, someone whom i have known almost all my life.

But what i have realised today is that a relationship that has lasted for many years does not have to be a happy one. and on the contrary, some of the shortest relationships may even share the most romantic love story of all time. #justsaying

Dog-training

Just back from a day at the animal shelter. Somehow, dogs are one of the few things that manage to keep me happy and carefree, even at my saddest and moodiest. Perhaps it is something to do with being able to be myself around them. This is the second time I am visiting the place. Have met lots of friendly people that I can feel comfortable around with like TJ, Tua, Elise.. so glad to have met these people. Even though i dont know their full names, nor have their fb acc, it kinda feels good being with them. Well, we do all have one thing in common - love for dogs.

You may be curious about the kind of work I am doing at the shelter. Basically, we are on a mission to train stray dogs so that they are more acceptable to people when people come to the shelter to adopt dogs. We train the basic commands like sit and recall and also to train them to walk along with their fellow humans. I picked this handsome looking brown dog with black streaks. He looks very cool and confident but when I brought him out of the pent, he kinda became not so confident. It's okay.. i guess these things take time. Thankful i didnt end up picking an agressive dog like Tua. I wouldnt know how to handle a dog who might snap at me each time i press his butt to make him sit! hmm... i will be doing this training for the next 5 weeks. Looking forward to the possibilities and outcome from this programme. I like the people here, and not to forget the dogs. And there is a beautiful river next to the shelter that looks like it just came out from a story book. I definitely like this place. :)

P.S Anyone free tomorrow? Do pop by IOI mall from 11am to 6pm. There will be an adoption drive there and you can adopt any of the cute puppies up for adoption! :)

3 Resolutions

I am afraid of many things.. but I shall constantly remind myself that nothing is forever.

Afraid of being hurt? Know that feeling hurt is temporary and eventually the pain of it will fade away. Everything in life is there and happens for a reason. As cliche as this sounds, it has been true for me so far and the more I can accept it, the less I am afraid of.. changes.

It has been such that my semester shall begin at this time. Maybe its time for me to wake up and appreciate the other beautiful things in life as well. I know the people who care for me, would want that from me too.

From now on, I will focus hard on my education. I will do everything that gets me going on in life. If volunteering at the animal shelter every week will make me do that, I will. If studying hard will make me feel accomplished, I will. And if being kind to everyone around me (even if it takes a little more time) makes me feel whole, I will.

Thank you for the memories. I will not disappoint you.

我今天要考华语。感觉到。。 很静张，应为我最后分钟才打开我的书来读。虽然是这样，我还是不会放气。我已轻用了一天的时间写一半本练习簿的生词！谢谢每个人的鼓励。。 :)

Red Velvets

Red velvets will never taste the same for me again.

Baking Stress

"If you wouldn't do your job for free, then quit." Heard of that phrase before?

When I first read that months back, I was kind of amused. But lately this phrase seems to be truer than ever.

Baking is always something I love doing, and never helps to be therapeutic for my frazzled nerves or if I feel sad/stressed/ depressed/(you get it, fill in the blank). I bake for any occasion, sad or happy. And love giving them away to anyone who loves to eat, when my cakes turn out pretty. But baking for customers is a whole different matter.

The baking business is FINALLY roaring it's ugly head at me!

I feel really tired and stressed right now. Maybe it's also because so many things will be happening next week.. new semester beginning, three cake orders in one week (all with different demands), classes, personal stuff, events. Thinking of it already makes me feel drained.

I am only thankful that this is something I put myself up for. Something that I have always enjoyed doing even if no one paid me, as long as people actually do enjoy my cakes. The joy of seeing someone take a second helping.. that's what makes my baking experience worth while.

Black, White and Grey

People, no matter how old they become will never be able to let go of least one or two fragments of their childhood memory. Be it the time spent with their daddy or mummy, or maybe it's the memory of piecing lego bricks together to build a house or a favourite candy as a kid. For the girlie girl, she will never forget the days she spent combing her Barbie doll hair, imagining that Michelle the Barbie doll is alive for that one brief magical moment.

Who would have imagined that gradually, as these little kids would grow up, they would eventually have to make their own decisions for life? Initially, it would be the choice of whether to pick up after his/her dirty clothes or what to pick off their plate. Then, they will graduate to making more important decisions like deciding which books to bring to school or whether to study for an exam or even in decisions like who they want to be friends with.

As kids, the answers were pretty simple. Everything was black and white. If he likes it a person, that person becomes his friend. If he doesnt, that person is not his friend. So simple.

But somewhere between child and man, the boundaries became blurred. What used to be either black and white now could possibly be grey. You like curry mee but it is fattening. So you avoid it. Grey area. So you just admire curry mee from afar and salivate over it but always never indulging in it because you are afraid of the high cholesterol level. The thing is, the grey area extends to all aspects of adult life, and not limited to just food choices.

And this, my friend, I believe is the root of most people's confusion and dilemmas. They dont know what is the right or wrong thing to do!

What IS the right thing to do?

Because it falls in the grey area, no one will ever know. People may give their side or perspective but really NO ONE can give you the right answer. It really just depends on what you believe in, what you want, the core principle and values you hold on to in life. How far will you go to get it? Do you value A principle over B principle? Stuff like that. This is a very subjective matter. As it is, there are countless number of definitions to what is life, love, hate, diet, even. Everyone believes in different things and hence lead to contradicting views, opposing advice.

Your friends cant tell you what to do, your family cant tell you how to behave, counsellors or advisors can never give the right advice. The only person who knows you best is yourself. And hence, the best advice can only come from the one person who knows you best. In cases like these, my only advice would be to follow your heart.

Successful Failed Sponge + Macaron Class + Contact Lens + A Meaningful Evening

Hehe... I have a few interesting (and happy) things to share today. Gonna blog this before heading out again till night.

The first would be my supposedly failed sponge cake with mousse that actually turned out pretty okay and nice. Mousse is one of my favourite desserts, and it comes to no surprise that it is a popular favourite among my friends. In fact, Jimmy has already told me twice to learn to make mousse!!! Lol. But I never really knew how to achieve the creamy thick consistency of mousse. My first attempt of Lemon mousse was okay but the second time I tried, it became more like jelly. Zzz. End of story. Swore to myself never to ever try a mousse recipe with gelatin.

Then came Dad ~ Baker & Chef, with his Dark Chocolate Mousse Cake, and guess what? With no gelatin in mousse!!! hehe. It looked pretty simple so I relented to trying it out one more time. I only used their mousse recipe. As for the sponge, I just did a simple whip up of eggs (many thanks to my mom for sharing the secret of maing successful sponges with me).

Picture below: I have finally mastered the secret of making sponges. :)

My first failed attempt is here (below), before my mom showed me the correct way. Haha. Difference of only one egg in the recipe and the size of the cake is more than double! Amazing or not?

But when I poured the mousse liquid into the pan, it seemed very watery and I thought that for sure, it would be a failure this time. Didnt even bother to check the cake out this morning before rushing off for macaron class... and when I came back, there were only two slices left! Kewl... or not? hehe. So glad. Was even gladder when I tried the cake and realised it wasnt that bad. Enjoyed the mousse consistency although I do have to do something with the extreme sweetness of the chocolate in future.

Another highlight of my day today was the macaron class, organised by Big Boys Oven. These two fellas, Sidney and Sunny are awesome. They taught us how to make macarons. In case you are not aware, macarons are not easy to make. Each attempt can just lead you to another type of different failure. So it's better to just employ the help of the experts to avoid all that wastage. They were genuine in teaching the tricks around making macarons and at the end of it all, Sunny even served a delicious slice of moist chocolate cake for us. All of us took back a box of delightfully coloured macarons as well as one cupcake decorated with fondant and one heart-shaped macaron. Really, really satisfied with the class. Now... for me to recall the steps taught and to actually reproduce an equally beautiful and successful batch at home!

Wore contact lens the whole day today. Once again, broke my record of putting the lens on my eyeballs/cornea/whatever you call it. 30 minutes! Woots. It might not be much for some of y'll but do take note that the first time I put it on, I took about 3 hours in total. Lol. So I consider this an achievement. Wonder if i should continue wearing it when I go out later or should I just remove it now? Hmm....

Okay, enough with the yapping. Just that I have so many happy things to share today. I feel that I can blog non-stop about it.

[Edited] at 10pm, 20 August

Just back from the temple. The Buka Puasa event organised for the visually and hearing impaired was amazing. I never imagined that of all places, this would be the place that I am able to seek the most joy in the past few months. I am particularly taken by those who cannot see the world at all, and yet can still be brave enough to step out into this world.. coming out and having dinner tonight proves it. There was one particular guy (maybe about 20 something years old) whom I was quite attracted to. From his behavior, I can safely say that he isnt able to see much. At the most, just some shadow images. And yet, he seemed very confident and happy with himself. I really enjoyed watching how he behaved, he seemed so comfortable in his own skin that it made him ever so likable. Although he wasnt able to see the people around him and his friends, he still showed he cared for them.. and when they were walking in a single file and he lost his friend walking behind him, he was very worried, not for himself but for his friend. Just one of the many incredible people I met today. :)

Mille Crepe Cake

Just back from the temple. Will be going back there again on Saturday for the Buka Puasa event organised for the Visually and Hearing Impaired. Grateful to my friend who asked me to join them in their volunteer work. You'ld be amazed at how many people who are actually so willing to get out there and volunteer, regardless at the animal shelter, temple or the orphanage. It gives me that satisfaction to know that not all hope is lost with this world. :)

Anyway, I want to share another cake that I made today. The maid is gone, so I had to do all the washing up and trust me, it aint easy. Ugh, reminder not to use so much butter and oil in future 'cause it's such a pain to wash stuff with oil and grease!!! haha. I made a Mille Crepe Cake. Have loved this cake from the first time I ever tried it at Kafe Indulge. Thus far, I know of three places that offer this delightful cake.

1. Kafe Indulge, Kuchai Lama

2. Nadeje, Melaka

3. Food Foundry, S17

I would say Nadeje is the best among the three because of it's wide selection of Mille Crepe cakes. They specialise only in Mille Crepe cakes, and that only. Will definitely go back there the next time I am in Malacca. I was in awe with how creative they were.. there was even a Mille Crepe cake covered with meringue or something?! Second would go to Food Foundry, only because I havent been to Kafe Indulge for a long time. Cant really compare between these two. Kafe Indulge will always have a sentimental value to me, and well, Food Foundry is much more convenient for me since it's just 10 minutes away from home. So yea, both are equally good.

And now, for MY Mille Crepe cake. Wait for it.... hehe. But dont laugh!

Tadaaa...! Homemade Mille Crepe cake, by me. I feel so proud because this is the second time I am making this and it can be considered a success. Only mistake I made was that I was too generous with the cream so some of the crepes were sliding off. But that asides, the taste of the cream, and thickness (or rather, thinness) of the crepe was just right.

Anyone who wants to try making this special cake should try the recipe from DESSaRTS. It definitely did not let me down. I cant recall where I got my first recipe attempt for this cake but the crepe that time was disappointing. It was too thick in the centre and when the thickness accumulated it resulted in a dome shaped cake. *Disappointed much* This time round, I perfected the crepe part!! :D This is an awesome cake.. I'm going to try to make this cake again pretty soon.

Never Give Up

If I am ever asked what is the most difficult cake in the world to bake, my answer without hesitating would be a sponge cake.

I never thought it would be that difficult. It has always been a simple affair between me and the cakes I bake. You prepare the ingredients, beat or mix the necessary ingredients, pour them out into a pan, bake and presto! You have lovely cake, muffins, cupcakes, or cookies. But sponge cake really REALLY tested my determination, dedication, and skill, not to forget having to sacrifice at least eight eggs wasted in the failed attempts.

Last night, I lay in bed wondering whether to proceed with my half failed cake or to bake a new one the next day. To fail again (and have more than enough failed cakes sitting in the fridge) was one thing, to have to face the music (grumbles and lectures from parents, siblings, aunts) is another. I can stare failure in the face, but I dont take criticism too well, especially when it isnt constructive. But a friend told me that I should go ahead. That I shouldnt be demotivated by failure. And that if my family were really my family, they would be supportive of me.

And guess what..? It worked! Of course, I did my research thoroughly and was very determined to ensure that my third time would prove to be a success. But even then, the cake turned out really better than I had imagined. I give credit to The Little Teochew for being my lifesaver! Awesome chocolate cake recipe you have there! :)

This may look simple but personally for me, I will never EVER take a sponge cake for granted again. Anyone who can bake a successful sponge cake will have my respect, hands down.

Happy Birthday to my dad. Everyone enjoyed the cake. *phew* I shall call this the M&M cake for easy reference. I got the inspiration from a blog with the M&M but I adapted it to my liking. Since I have extra fondant at home, I designed the fondant pieces at the side of the cake instead of pasting kit-kat like the original cake. Simpler, I guess. The cake is a simple one too.. chocolate sponge with a middle layer of vanilla sponge. Bottom layer has blackcurrant fruit filling while top layer has butter cream. And of course the top is sprinkled with a generous topping of M&M.

Anyway, the lesson here is... never to give up. Especially if it is something that you really like or if you have a point to prove. Sometimes it bruises your pride to have to fall on the ground, but what we need to realise is that falling down is a humbling experience that not only allows us to realise where we went wrong, but for us to appreciate our achievements better when they are finally in our hands. A quote from a friend, "you never know what you have till it's gone", why cant we humans just realise what we have before it's too late?

It is easy to take the things nearest to us for granted.. friends, family, loved ones, relationships, physical belongings, and in this case, the ability to bake. I feel silly for having taken so many blessings in my life for granted. And only when it's lost, we weep and mourn over our losses.

I have already fallen. Fallen so hard to the ground that for a few days, I wasnt sure if i could get back up and walk like normal again. I still am not walking like normal yet, and not sure how long it will take. But I'm making progress. I dont regret falling down, but I wouldnt want to fall so hard again. Failure doesnt necessarily lead to failure if you know what went wrong the first time. And it's only when you make that leap of faith, then you will know what is in store for you.