Failure and Excellence

There are several crossroads in life; this is yet another one.

All the hardship would have been easier to accept if I knew where I was heading in life. Right now, I'm pretty certain that litigation is not for me, but I constantly wonder whether I am deciding so for the right reasons? Would corporate work be any easier? Or maybe I am no better there because I do not have any background knowledge on finance?

I am afraid that I am just taking the easy way out.

People who succeed academically sometimes are not always the most successful in life. My personal opinion? The people who fail academically are more likely to succeed in life because they have dealt so much more with rejection in school that they do not take failure to heart anymore, and are able to pick themselves up faster.

The reason I excelled in school was because I was afraid of failure. Which was why I studied hard so I never had to deal with it.

In reality, you cannot avoid failure, even if you give your 100%. You just have to accept it and move on.

And as easy as it sounds - to accept and move on, it is actually harder than excelling academically. 

Fear and Courage

Fear motivated my decision more than one year ago to come back.

I know there are scholars that never return to serve their bond.

I know the value of my scholarship is probably only around RM25,000. 

I also know that most of my batchmates have graduated from their pupillage and are already working as lawyers. 

While here I am. 

Yet, courage to face each day is all I have right now. 

Darkest Before Dawn?

It has been a tough few months for me. Mostly emotional challenges, fighting my inner demons etc.

Getting a placement within a company you are bonded to can either be really easy or really frustrating, difficult, exhausting and will downright destroy your self-esteem. It can be really easy if you are not fussy with the nature of the work you want to do or if you have a flexible degree like accounting and finance. For me though, it was the latter, for two main reasons.

First, I graduated with a law degree. The only place where I could logically be placed within a company would be the Legal department. But most people dont leave the Legal department once they enter. Maybe it's because of the job stability, the kinder environment (relative to law firms), maybe it's the pay.. I dont know for sure; only just know that turnover rate is low and that is a fact. Every division for Legal tells me they have no vacancy for a fresh graduate like me.

Secondly, I am a fussy pot. I dont do creative work, I dont enjoy auditing people, and I am not confident that I have any career prospect doing IT work. The only place I can fit in is the Legal department because I am a meticulous and anal person.

I also considered the Strategy department mostly because it was where all the scholars go; and if all the high-achievers go there, it shouldnt be too bad a place aite?

Well I came in at a time when the company's recruitment activities were slowing down. Even internal transfers were getting impossible at that point. There was no justification for a law graduate to be doing finance work. So even Strategy turned me down.

I didnt really think I was going to survive this ordeal. Almost imagined myself being stuck doing something menial for the next year or so until my bond was served completely.

I am not sure what changed my luck but today, I was called for an interview. It was my second interview in six months and it also happened to be my first choice of employment within the company. So I was estatic. But having being let down so many times in the past few months, my heart is numb to the joy and I shall wait until the transfer is official.

I am writing this because I hope it can serve as a reminder for my future self that sometimes things get to their worst before maybe getting better. I wont say things happen for a reason, because things can still happen for a BAD reason.

Well we shall wait till 3 August 2015 to know whether my new job is confirmed. Then only we think about how to celebrate it. 

Good Enough

24 in a few hours, but how much have I really achieved career-wise?

People were wrong when they told us to study hard in school, score perfect grades and to enter a reputable university. Confirm can get a good job, they said. Well, it's either they have a different definition of a "good job" or I heard wrongly.

The truth is, being the perfect student in school doesnt guarantee you the dream job. It doesnt earn you a million bucks, it doesnt guarantee that your relatives will be impressed with your choice of study. For what it is worth, it cant even guarantee you being happy.

So really, perfectionism is overrated.

Yet this desire to be perfect is the root to all my desires right now. I want to be the best, I want to be the most successful among my batchmates, I want to earn the most and I want to be the one most recognised. (Where did all this ego come from?!)

And sadly, this desire to be perfect is the root to all my misery right now. I want to be able to pursue my chambering. I want to be a lawyer. I want to do something meaningful in my life instead of chilling my days away in a comfortable office.

It is easy to say that my life is good enough. Not so easy to tell them good enough is not enough for someone who aims for the sky.

People say I should be satisfied; I should be grateful to have so much.

But it is not so easy to tell them that good enough is not enough, when you aimed for so much more. 

belated birthday

Had my second last paper yesterday. It was not a nightmare as I had expected, so I am more than glad I could simply answer the questions. Just a little regretful that there was not enough time to finish writing everything I wanted.

After the paper, CC came to pick me up to bring me to some place to make it up for not doing anything special on my birthday. This was after a day of asking me whether I wanted "High" or "Eight" and "Water" or "Earth". I picked High and Water.

The first thing I saw when I entered his car was two cream roll buns. Such an adorable guy. He said he was worried I will get gastric since it was a one hour journey to the place he was taking me, so he wanted us to have something to eat beforehand. Even more touching, he got the jagung bun because I told him that is my favourite.

I suspected we were heading to Ampang Lookout Point because the road he took reminded me of the last time I went to Ampang. The road up was dark and windy, and the petrol light started blinking when we started going up the hill.

Troll: So I guess you know where we are going? *we just passed a sign board and the road looked like Ampang Lookout Point*
Me: Ampang Lookout Point right? Did you know it closed about 2 years ago?
Troll: Huh? What?
Me: I told you that before leaving the house because I had a feeling you would take me there.
Troll: *scrambles for phone and passes it to me* Confirm whether it is really closed.

It was.

My heart sank. Guess there will be no dinner for me tonight, I thought. Luckily he got me the bun, I consoled myself.

Suddenly, he swerved into a small road on the right. Hah! He had something up his sleeves...

It was a little late when we finally reached the Veg Fish Farm Thai Restaurant near Ampang Lookout Point but it was worth it!

The food was nice, weather was cooling and the atmosphere was relaxing. The restaurant was kind of built on top of a lake with fishes swimming in it. What was more touching was the little things he did that night, like how he had gotten the bun before we went, calling up the place to check whether it is open on a Thursday night, yea I will even give him credit for pulling off such a flawless prank on me.

I wont forget this night.

coming back to me

When things happen once, it could be a mistake. But when it happens twice, it's a choice.

Sitting in the passenger seat yesterday, the same feelings overwhelmed me as before - anger, frustration, disappointment. I just wanted to run as far away from you, wanted to be alone, just to sob incessantly on my bed and be the spoilt brat that I am. 

If anyone ever asks me whether you are a good boyfriend, my answer would always be the same - yes. 

You are a good boyfriend because you are essentially a good person, and you are good to me. If anyone could be a perfect human being, that person would be you. 

Yet, how can a perfect human being be wrong? 

Sometimes I blame myself for expecting too much, for being too demanding, for being too controlling. But is it wrong to expect a certain standard of things after being together for a while?

Ignoring the unhappiness would be like ignoring the elephant in the room. Something I can not and would not do. The only thing I ever resolved to do is to deal with my dissatisfaction respectfully. To bring the elephant out of the room in the safest way. 

Maybe you never knew the old me, the me that crushed my old relationship up. 

But EVERY single time we argue, I am reminded of my past mistakes. I think of how I pushed him away, how I threw tantrums and broke his heart; I would plead to myself that I never have to make the same mistakes again. I beg to myself that I never have to destroy a person's soul and break any a beautiful thing I have. 

I thought I learnt enough through my last break-up. I thought I would know how to make my second relationship right, but I was wrong. I must have got the basics right, because the past 1 year and 3 months have been nothing less than beautiful. But beyond the basics, where the strength and wisdom required becomes deeper, I feel a little lost, I feel a little scared. I need you to be patient with me, but I hope I never have to break your heart in the process. 

  

exams nearing

It has been an extremely stressful few weeks for me. With my FINAL finals coming in a week time, I felt like I had to really get my game on and prepare as much as possible for my exams. My greatest fear every exam is that I cant finish covering everything I need to study (trust me, I literally have nightmares over it). So now with just a week away, reality has kinda sank in and I am more in exam mode, I dont feel like there's a need for flight or fight.

I just want to be grateful for the boyfriend that constantly hangs around with me, despite being potentially bored to death in my room. He gets at my nerves sometimes because I have 101 things to do when he can do his own leisure things. But I guess it is more important that he is so accepting, forgiving and supportive of me. I really wouldnt have it any other way.

But I cant say that I will make it up to him after the exams. Because after exams, more things are just waiting to happen. The things-to-do list never ends. So each time I realise that, I can only remind myself to love him better in the now.


P.S. Cant believe it's the last exam of my undergraduate life. Fingers crossed all goes well.

friendship was what i learnt in law school

With the last week of law school coming to an end, I realise I am more sentimental about leaving this place than I expected.

I would say that my first year was my most exciting year. I was new to this world. And strangely for a introvert person like me, I quickly became acquainted with a group of interesting friends right from the beginning of the semester. I never really had to deal with loneliness or being awkwardly alone at the very beginning because I had them. We participated in activities together; we had outings together; we even had our own group page just for us. J was the chatty one, L was quiet and studious, T had a sweet smile, W was the intelligent one, C was the laid back one, J was the strange but funny one, Z was the cool lecturer, and V was the key that brought us all together. But somewhere, somehow, all of us just started to drift apart. We started having our own friends, our own lives. For some of us, we still have the random conversation once in a while, but for the others, it is just an awkward bump along the corridor. I am not much of a social butterfly so in a way it aggravates the situation – I don’t always make the effort to talk and I guess it just stretched the gap between us even further.

In my second year, there was this elective I took – Employment law. At this point of time, I started being more of a lone ranger. I sat in front. I ate my lunch alone. I went about my classes alone. But employment law did not only excite me, it brought me to two other like-minded people who I eventually became fast friends with, Y and P.

Throughout my second and third year, I was mostly preoccupied with activities. It was a stage of my life where I came, I saw, I conquered. I had my hands full with student activities, I was active with volunteerism and I baked at home every chance I had. I began to enjoy being alone, I did my work quickly in the faculty and barely lingered long in the campus. I guess it is during the bulk of these years that left my batch mates and people in general to view me as a lone ranger unmoved in her arrogant ways. But at this point of time, it didn’t really matter to me because being alone worked for me.

But as group work was inevitable in some courses, I started to click with people I had never really imagined I would get along with before. Y and P were two such people. But there were others too like M and H. M was a happy girl which always had something to cheer people up about and often would post funny things on my facebook wall. There were a few times M asked us to hang out and called H along. That is how I met H. I don’t know how and why but H, P, Y and me eventually became really good friends. I will never forget the times we had simply hanging out, chatting, cracking jokes and all four of us were truly happy friends.

Yet even that close bond started unravelling after a little more than a year.

I guess friendships are impermanent, just like life. We find friends along our journey but eventually we have to part when the time comes. I think I just want to settle with being happy I ever made some good friends in these four years of life. Expecting a friendship to last is maybe too much to ask, but simply enjoying it while it is, is something we should never deny ourselves.

Having said all that, I just want to end my life in law school with no ill-will. We might never meet again, but we might also just end up being working colleagues in future.

I would like to end this note with a quote: “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” – Flavia Weedn.

When Clingy is a Good Thing

Today, while CC was lying on my bedroom floor resting with me on his chest, I asked him, "Am I clingy?" 

Without a pause, he said yes. 

My heart sank a little. The word "clingy" is often associated with things like jealous, overly attached, possessive. It wasnt really new news for me; but having tried so hard not to be as sticky as my past relationship, I was a little let down that my attempt to be not so sticky had fell through. 

So I asked him, how can I be less clingy. In reply, he asked: 

"Why do you want to be less clingy?"

Random Thoughts on Relationships #1

Boyfriend is changing job, and he thinks that it is better for him to move to a place closer to his workplace (which happens to be much much further than travelling from PJ to SJ).

To begin with, I have nothing against him changing jobs. Just like how I would like him to be there for me, supporting me if one day I decide to chase my dreams, I would do the same for him. I want him to be happy in his chosen career just as much as I want a satisfying job for myself too. So there is no question of stopping him if he wants to change his job, even if it involves somewhere far off.

But it goes to the next point - how far is far enough for you to move? Presently, it takes him about 20 minutes to get to my place on average. We see each other during the weekends and spend loads of time together then. But occasionally when either of us are free, we would pop over at each other's place during the weekdays, simply to spend a wee bit more time together. I wouldnt say that the hours, minutes and seconds spent is much; but to be honest, each time he drops by for no particular reason than to be with me, it is a nice touching effort, and it does push things forward in our relationship.

The flexibility of his present (soon to be past) job did help too. He would drop by my place if he has work to settle around the area, or catch Friday lunch with me, simply because he has a long lunch hour.

Like I said, these things are not compulsory for him, and yet he does it. And it is because they are voluntary and non-obliging that makes those efforts touching and meaningful.

Maybe it is because of that I fear even more. I wonder if things have been so good that I will not be prepared for any challenges thrown our way. I think about his future (soon to be present) job; I think about the inflexibility of surprising each other on weekdays; I think of his new housemate; I think of my new life beginning in a few months. And all of a sudden, I realise there are so many uncertainties I am not sure I am ready to handle.

In a way, it reminds me of 1 April 2011. Definitely wasnt a day for jokes for me. And neither will 1 April 2014 be.

Communication will always be important to me. And for him, I guess it would be important if I can be as understanding as can be.

I will not deflect the credit I should give to him for everything he is to me so far. Ultimately, what I am trying to say is I am afraid. I know no two relationships are and ever will be the same. But what I have learnt from my past is that nothing is permanent. A person can make all the promises he/she wants in the world, but they can still be broken in the end.

Secondly, feelings are an accumulation of events being translated into an emotion. You may love a person with all your heart but when that person keeps hurting you, keeps disappointing you, and not treating you with respect, the colour of your heart fades and eventually one day, you will wonder if your heart is still a heart. I took the hard way to understand this. Because I could not see it. And it cost me a friendship, love and 4 years of a good thing to wake me up. I hope I would never do the same to you, and neither would you do the same to me too.

I do not want to ask anything more of you. You are already such a good boyfriend. You have already given me everything that I need and more. You are a great listener, a fast learner. You make jokes to cheer me up when I am down. You dont make promises, probably because you know promises can be broken just as easily as they are made. More importantly, you show your care and love through your actions. And I appreciate all that.

But it doesnt stop me from fretting, from worrying, from over-thinking.

When we started, I told myself not to get myself emotionally attached to you, to anyone. It is only when I stepped into this relationship that I realised getting emotionally attached is inevitably unavoidable. That if you start to fall for someone, you are already getting yourself entwined with their life. And once you are already steady, it is only natural that the involvement, both emotionally and physically, will increase. And perhaps, I shall resign myself to the next best thing I can do which is to know the boundaries of my feelings.

My writing is rusty but at least I feel better tonight. Also grateful the rain has returned. And constantly grateful I have you and my mom in my life. Can only hope for the best, remain positive and continue to appreciate every moment spent with you.

Till then.

My Memorable Weekend

Last Friday night, he came a little later than usual to my place. Upon arriving, he gave me a porcelain like vase and said it is his anniversary gift for me. He said it could be used as a vase (he did this by holding it out to me), or to drink water (imitating the act of drinking from the 'cup') or alternatively, it could be used as a hat, he said (placing the vase on top of his head). I remember thinking that it was so typical of him to give me something practical and non-sentimental, so I took the gift and laughed at his suggestions of how I could use the gift.

Then while we were making our way up to the house, he got into his car again and brandished out a stalk of five carnations!!!

It was so unsuspecting and yet, it seemed so natural, at the same time. My unromantic boyfriend got me flowers, and what's more, he got my favourite! It was one thing he got me flowers, but to remember that I told him I like carnations almost one year ago was something I did not expect from him. A perfect example of what it means when a person says, it's the thought that counts.

On Saturday, we had pan mee in SS19 before heading to Setia City Mall. We walked around the area and even chanced upon a political convention held nearby. After that, we got back home for dinner.

What I did not expect was that he had another surprise in store for me. That night, it was hot and stuffy and I had a lot of work to be done. He obediently kept himself away from me while I got my work done. Then around midnight he asked me to count the number of cranes he made for me sometime ago. I turned the box of paper cranes out and a card fell out! It was an anniversary card, with a note to ask me check out the space below my wardrobe. There was another surprise awaiting there - a bottle of 151 paper stars folded meticulously by him, and wrapped in gift wrapping paper. Oh how sweet can he be!

Sunday, I made arrangements for dinner. It was supposed to be a surprise for him, and I hope I was genuinely able to surprise him. We had earlier spent the day at home; he got bitten by Metta while he tried to clean Metta' eyes :'( We went to the doctor to give him an anti-tetanus jab. I was supposed to pay for it but he refused to accept my payment. We rushed to the Troika for dinner where I made reservations at 7pm.

I was glad he seemed happy at my choice of restaurant and venue for the night. I did think it would have been better if we were given a spot with brighter lighting but I guess it is the company that matters. He had fish and chips while I had polenta messy pizza. Further ordered the ever so well-known sizzling brownie and almost ordered the jackfruit cake but we realised we were too full midway that we cancelled that last order. Overall, quality of food was pretty good especially the fish because it didnt seem like the typical defrosted frozen fish and chips. Also, my polenta pizza was different from the usual pizzas we get around Malaysia - the crust was crispy and thin like nachos and it had lots and lots of mozarella cheese. Sizzling brownies with ice cream was a tad overpriced in my opinion but I enjoyed the cakey brownie that went well with the ice cream and hot chocolate sauce.

And I didnt get a chance to pay for that meal.

We spent the evening by walking to KLCC, 15 minutes walk away. The lights were beautiful and the lake shot colourful lights and played "My Heart will Go on", a weird coincidence I felt considering MH370 had just gone missing without a trace. We walked back to the Troika, my feet hurting from the heels the whole way.

Even so, we managed to spend a little time snapping a few shots at the Troika's staircase. Wish we had taken more pictures together that day. But regardless, I view it as days well-spent with him.

But what was touching was that when we got back home, he used lotion to rub my sore feet, checked on Metta, and tucked me to bed. I vaguely remember the last thing I saw was him lying on my bedroom floor reading Reddit.

You always never fail to amaze me, CC. This weekend was indeed an eye-opener of how sweet you are actually capable of being. But of course, I dare not expect it too often lest it spoils me. Me, on the other hand thought that my handmade card would suffice when you did so much more for me than that. But at the same time, I realise there are so many other ways to make you happy besides the most obvious material approach. I may not be able to make you accept my treat for dinner, but I will try to make up for it with in as many other ways as I can.

Hugs and kisses.

1st Year

A little more than a year ago, I would never have imagined that the man of my dreams would be mine. I can still recall thinking that you are just the type of guy I would like. At that point of time, you would message me randomly every other day despite being in another state. I enjoyed your wit, your kind nature, your optimism. I liked that I could discuss all sorts of issues with you. I didnt want to dwelve too much on the status of our relationship because you were just too good to be true, and I really didnt need any more disappointments in life at that point of time.

The first time you came to my house was after the CNY holidays. For some, it would be awkward to bring an almost stranger into your home. By then, we had only met two or three times. But armed with delicacies from Penang, a book I had been wanting to read and some treats for Metta, I knew at once you were no stranger. 

Things progressed quickly from then. 

10 March 2013 - we were watching Hugo on your laptop at my home. No one was home. At first, you placed your hand on my thigh. When that did not prompt any response from me, you took my hand and asked me if I was alright with us seeing each other. Without a second thought, I knew the answer. Yes. And you took my hand and gave it a kiss. 

The rest as some would call it, is history. 

The thing about you is that with each day, each week, each month that passes, with each moment that I know you better and better, I discover more and more things to cherish about you. 

You are not romantic nor sentimental; you are forgetful and aloof; you apologise for mistakes when you do not know what you did wrong; but just like the thorns of a rose, these qualities too, are part of why I love you. 

In the first few months when I first got to know you, I immediately took a liking to your quick wit. You had many ideas and shared interesting thoughts with me on a daily basis. You could create jokes in a snap and understood most things (even stupid things) I said very easily. When I got to know you better, I began to see the sensitive side of you. You were also a kind person and often helped anyone when you could. 

But it was only when our relationship started that I realised how good I had it. You drove sensibly; you communicated well with me; we enjoyed our time together; you respected me as a person; you forgave me for my past and even more importantly, allowed me to forgive myself for my past; you assured me when I needed a shoulder and pushed me when I needed motivation; we fought playfully and argued respectfully; you celebrated my causes and anguished over my miseries; I could be honest with you and you understood my need for honesty; I could love freely; I could be silly and you would never judge me.

Many times, I wonder the good luck that was bestowed upon me for me to meet you. I am glad for holding out for Mr Right and not Mr Alright. 

HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY, MY LOVE. (Cant believe it is in a week's time!)

I'm now 22 years old. Cant really believe it has come to the point where 2- will be a normality for me, until I embrace 3-. In the midst of my exams, so I really should be studying but the events of last night keeps playing on my mind. Birthdays have always been about a family dinner with the extra desserts for me in the past years. Yesterday was no different in that sense, but maybe it feels more memorable because of two reasons. 

First and foremost, all the genuine birthday wishes from my friends remind me of all the friendships I have made in the past year. Nothing lasts forever but the fact that some of my friends can call me up, or send me a lengthy birthday wish on facebook is something that suggests to me that maybe I am capable of making friends after all. (If you know me enough, I have always been the loner.) Let's hope that the friends I have made in the past year or so shall remain and I shall continue to make more genuine friends in the future. 

Secondly, I was able to enjoy the simple joys in life from spending time with the people who matters most to me. I know it is too new for me to say this, but having CC at my home with my family for dinner just made me feel that kind of contentment you can only feel from spending time with your loved ones. We had a YCS before that, not sure who planned the surprise, so I will just be thankful for ALL the committee members for being such thoughtful and nice people. But it really is the little thought that counts when it comes to birthdays. I didnt really need CC to buy me some pricey gift, but rather the fact that he slipped out during the session (with or without the other committee members) to get a cake was something that really touched me. 

That's all for now, hopefully I can focus on resuming my revision. 

Marche @ The Curve

Went to Marche yesterday. It has the European marketplace concept combined with a buffet. Well, sort of. Basically, the restaurant consists of mostly fresh food items put out on display and you may order the food from their list. They will cook it on the spot for you and you can collect it 10 minutes later.

Some snap shots of the interior of the restaurant. 

I ordered the Honey Glazed Chicken Crepe (RM24.90) at the Savoury Crepe counter. As you can see, there are three other different types of savoury crepes to choose from.

The Honey Glazed Chicken Crepe was pretty good as a whole and rather filling too. I enjoyed the variety of flavour that went in each bite. Cheesy (mozarella cheese), sweet (apples and onions), savoury (chicken), spicy (sauce) even! And everything seemed to complement each other so well. Pretty amazing! 

CC ordered the Sirloin Steak. It was pretty juicy as a whole though some parts were a little drier than other parts.

He also ordered a plate of sauteed mushrooms. These exceeded my expectations. For any mushroom lover, you might want to give this a try. It has a very strong mushroom smell and what I enjoyed most from this dish was its fragrant buttery flavour that went along with the mushrooms.

So, everything you ordered will be chopped on this list. And when you exit, the cashier will charge you accordingly. 

Special mention to CC for taking me here. :)

This is the place to go if..

You appreciate fresh food. 

Marche Restaurant

Lot G87, Ground Floor, 

The Curve,

Mutiara Damansara,

47800 Petaling Jaya,

Selangor Darul Ehsan.

03-77278461

Open from 11am to 11pm

Nasi Lemak Bumbung @ Seapark

Once again, havent been blogging for a while. Been up to my head with assignments.

CC dropped by my house today and we somehow ended up at Seapark for supper. He was hungry, it was evening, and I knew a lovely mamak place that opens from 7pm.

Presenting to you.. Nasi Lemak Bumbung of Seapark. You get the basic nasi lemak with a side portion of fried chicken. The attraction of this meal is not actually the nasi lemak but rather the fried chicken. Very well fried, and marinated with special spices, the fried chicken is on its own league. The next best thing that I enjoyed about the nasi lemak was the fried egg. Fried perfectly to be sunny side up, but not too runny. CC enjoyed the sambal, though I felt that was old school. For RM4.50, I guess this is a fair meal to try if you happen to be around the area.

AS for location, just look out for Maybank. Their tables are lined along the pathway of Maybank as well.

This is the place to go if..

You love fried chicken. And you are looking for supper. (Place only opens from 7pm onwards)

Bumbung Nasi Lemak 

Jalan 21/11b, 

SEA Park

46300 Petaling Jaya,

Selangor Darul Ehsan. 

hello!

This new semester will be a steep uphill climb all the way. Having chit-chat sessions with my friends make me realise that graduation is a little more than a year from now. I guess all this stress is surely not unusual, given the pressure-cooking and highly demanding nature of the legal profession.

Life has been good to me. Not the best, but neither the worst. But with each passing day, I grow with more gratitude in my heart for all the small blessings life has given to me. The people that step into my life, the little material things in life that make life a little bit easier, and all the opportunities I am offered with. I could ask for more, but for now, I am a satisfied person each night I go to sleep.

Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province, China (30 & 31 January 2013)

PART 5: HANGZHOU (ZHEJIANG)

A trip to Hangzhou must never be short of West Lake, no matter how packed your itinerary is. That was the case with us. I confess, I did not take Hangzhou seriously because I always assumed we will have time for it since we arrived and departed from Hangzhou's International Airport. But I was wrong. Our trip was always short of time simply because we had so many places we wanted to visit that when it came to Hangzhou, we were left with barely a day.

The journey from nanjing to Hangzhou took about 2 hours plus and by the time we arrived at Hangzhou, it was close to evening. Had a simple dinner in a small shop along Baochu Lu. Please do not go there for food unless you are looking for those typical 3 course meal. We werent looking for those so we finally found a small shop tucked a little further on along Baochu Lu and had a generous meal of noodles there. Only after dinner, (by that time, it was already dark) we made our way to West Lake for our evening stroll.

West Lake 西湖 is a vast lake with many old legendary romance stories involving the features around the lake. It is also one of UNESCO World Cultural Heritage Sites.

Because most of the views were clouded by darkness and mist in t he night, we decided to come back to West Lake in the morning, before we depart back to Malaysia. 

Some interesting sights for the day around the lake. 

Water calligraphy on the pavement by the lake

Take 2

Greedy ducks 

Man doing the Tibetan dance. This was his cooling down excercise me thinks, coz he just finished dancing. 

And finally, the first and last picture of the four of us in Hangzhou. 

And then it was goodbye China, and welcome home Malaysia.

That's me with my winter clothing all stuff in a recyclable bag and wrapped with plastic to be checked in as luggage! 

Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, China (28 - 30 January 2013)

PART 4: NANJING (JIANGSU)

Honestly, honestly, this was my favourite place throughout the entire visit to China. Nanjing excited all my senses from the first time I stepped foot in the area, despite it being a little less classy as compared to Shanghai and Suzhou. But the charm of Nanjing which makes up for all this is difficult to explain unless you visit the place for yourself. It is one of the earliest established cities in China and was one of the main capitals even before Shanghai. Perhaps that explains why the facilities here are pretty satisfactory albeit a little worn. 

Some places of interest here would include the Confucius Temple, Zhonghuamen, Nanjing Massacre Memorial Hall, and the Purple Mountain area (the Ming Tombs, Dr Sun Yat Sen's Mausoleum, Linggu Temple.) 

I managed to visit all the places I wanted to go except for Zhonghuamen because of time restraint. But I did get a fleeting glance of Zhonghuamen on the train leaving from Nanjing and it is an impressive castle-like wall structure. 

Anyways, our first visit was to the Confucius Temple. There is plenty to see around this area, including Jiangnan Gongyuan (Imperial Examination Hall), Qinhuai River and pedestrian streets. 

Before we visited the Confucius Temple, we had dinner around the area as it was already quite late when we arrived in Nanjing. If you walk around the streets, you will notice that many shops sell ducks or duck-related products. Yanshuiya 盐水鸭 (salted duck) is supposed to be one of Nanjing's popular dishes. We had that for dinner, but for me, I felt that it was nothing too great. It reminded me a lot of salted steamed chicken (pak zham kai).

Clockwise from right: CL, YK and PL

Duck products ie. duck balls (minced duck meat) hahahaha.. 

Confucius Temple

Inside the Confucius Temple. There were even guides to take us around the place when we entered. 

Jiangnan Gongyuan is also another place worth visiting around the area because it gives us an idea of how the imperial examinations were conducted in the past. For those who are not aware, during the dynasties' rulings, emperors will conduct imperial examinations in hiring palace officials and citizens will try their luck in these examinations with the hope of being selected and becoming officers to the Emperors. But not everyone succeeds and very often, many suffer hardship in their attempts.

Next day's breakfast of McD Pork burger with egg and cheese, with soy bean milk to go with it. 

After breakfast, we went to Zijin Shan (Purple Mountain area). Basically Zhijin Shan has many attractions including the Ming Tombs, Linggu Temple, Dr Sun Yat Sen's Mausoleum, and cabbies are provided for tourists to travel from one place to another. We took the Metro to the closest station to Zhijin Shan (cant remember which one) and hiked our way up.

This is just one of the many beautiful pictures I snappeed along the way to Ming Tombs. 

Dont forget to walk along the Path of the Stone Elephants and if you are here in Spring, visit the Plum blossom garden next to it! 

The trees behind the signboard will bloom with plum blossoms in spring. 

The Ming Tombs involved a lot of walking and climbing up stairs. Walking towards the tomb, the pathways smelled of a strong fragrance of jasmine. But what was the highlight of my day in Zhijin Shan was visiting Purple Glow Lake (Zixia Hu). We were initially quite undecided about looking for it as it was relatively unknown and the hike in search for the lake was a question mark, with none of us knowing the directions nor knowing how long it would take before we would reach our destination. We stopped a handful of times halfway to have a break before we finally reached the lake. But the hike up was definitely worth it because the first time I lay eyes on the lake, I fell in love with it. The lake really suited its name, with a green-purplish tint of colour in the water. The mountains too had a surreal pink-purple colour to it. The lake was calm and peaceful and from afar, we could see locals on the other side of the lake swimming in it and singing their lungs out. There was no rubbish nor pollutants around and everything felt so much like a dream. I doubt I would ever come here again (mostly because I come from another country), but the beauty and tranquility of this place is something I hope I will never forget.

Dr Sun Yat Sen's Mausoleum was our next stop. It was another long hike up, with 400+ steps to be conkered. But we made it! At the top, is a statue of Dr Sun Yat Sen. This mausoleum has relatively fewer people as compared to Chairman Mao's in Beijing which have people queuing each and every day just to enter and have a brief glance of the respected Chairman. But if you are within the Zhijin Shan area, this might be a fair place to visit. 

Another good place to visit is Linggu Temple and Linggu Pagoda. My brother calls it "the Pagoda of Shattered Dreams" because we decided not to continue to it midway as most of us were exhausted and suffering from feet-pain. It was also close to evening by that time and we didnt want to be struggling to walk home in the dark considering it gets dark quickly during winter =.='

Our last stop in Nanjing (the next day) was the Nanjing Massacre Memorial Hall. This was another of my favourite places to visit besides Purple Glow Lake. It was built in memory of the people killed in the Nanjing Massacre by the Japanese army in and around the capital of china, Nanjing after it fell to the Japanese Army in 1937. Just like how the Japanese came to Malaya and tortured the civilians during the early years of Malaysia, the japanese did pretty much the same to the people in Nanjing in the year 1937. According to the Nanjing Massacre Memorial Hall, 300000 people were sacrificed during the Massacre. And if you walk through their exhibitions, you will learn of all the hardship and cruelties the people had to endure during the Massacre. My brother and I both agreed that the exhibits were so heart-wrenching that we almost cried.  

Didnt take that many pictures once we entered, simply as a sign of respect towards the poor souls who died in Nanjing 1937. But if you are ever in Nanjing, this is a place you should drop by. There were two exhibition halls which contained the excavation sites of all those skeletons and in the first, the skeletons were systematically labelled (e.g. exhibit 6 is a six year-old with a nail in its skull). The second excavation site consisted of a mass of skeletons, all disjointed and mixed up. The atmosphere is a solemn one and the entire place consists of only black, white and grey. No entrance fee is imposed. 

And then, it was another race to Hangzhou. 

Also view my trip to:
1. Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province
2. Shanghai
3. Suzhou, Jiangsu Province
4. Wuzhen, Zhejiang Province

Suzhou, Jiangsu Province, China (27 & 28 January 2013)

PART 3: SUZHOU (JIANGSU)

There are two things people come to Suzhou for - the silk and their gardens. As for me, I came here for a little of everything. Greedily taking in every little detail Suzhou offered to me. We went to Tiger Hill, Shantang Street, The Humble Administrator's Garden, and Guanqian Street. 

CL told me that the bridal gowns in Suzhou are one of the most popular. I did notice however, that their designs were a tad different to those in Malaysia and found them to be more princessy and poofy. I still prefer Malaysian bridal gowns for their generally more elegant appearance. But then again, bridal gowns are just another form of fashion and differs with each place. Outside these bridal stores, they would put out gowns which are out of season and they can go up to RMB100!!! (so cheap!). But the colour and design can be quite flamboyant, so pick wisely. 

Walking a little further from the street that sold nothing but wedding gowns, we arrived at Tiger Hill. 

Tiger Hill is so named for its hill that is shaped like a crouching tiger. The place is famous for both its natural beauty as well as historical value. At Tiger Hill, there were several stones, all with its own stories and you can slowly walk through the garden-like hill while understanding the respective stories behind each feature of the garden. Some interesting features would be the Sword-Testing Rock (a rock in two pieces that was supposedly cleaved cleanly by a legendary sword of extraordinary sharpness), Spring of simplicity and Honesty (a well that first appeared as a spring to an exhausted monk carrying water up the hill), Yunyang Pagoda (the leaning tower), Bonsai Garden, and Sword Pond. 

Yunyang Pagoda *note the tilt

After walking through Tiger Hill, we made our way to Shantang Street, which is actually walking distance from Tiger Hill. However, you must be ready to walk quite a distance before finally reaching or else you might as well catch a cab. But the walk to Shantang Street was worth it as we so many locals and their residences while we were at it.

This picture was taken during our stroll to Shantang Street

Locals drying out their clothes 

You will know when you have arrived at Shantang Street. The alley suddenly becomes much busier and more chaotic and there is so much to see and buy. It is like a typical market by the road, but it is special because it lends insight on what is sold in market frequented by locals, and not tourists like myself. We could see locals busying themselves with buying groceries for the week, dinner, or the occasional snack.

Then we saw this incredible queue, and the booth wasnt even selling anything yet! CL went to ask one of the people queueing what they were queueing for and when we found out they were selling mantaos (steamed buns), we joined the queue too. Mantaos are plain steamed buns but these were selling like hot cakes probably because they were fairly priced and probably were homemade. It tasted more tough than the typical microwaved mantaos you get from the convenient store. 

Finally the selling begins. Each mantao costs RMB0.70, and locals were seen buying 16 or more at one go. @.@

The following day, we visited the Humble Administrator's Garden, one of UNESCO Cultural Heritage Sites. This place consists of three parts, east, central and west, and on the map, it looks huge. But it can easily be covered in two hours. Nope how much water the garden has. Practically more water than land in the west and central region!!!

Lunch was a light snack at a restaurant along Guanqian Street, CL's pick.

Cant really recall the name of the place but this is the menu so if you can read Chinese, you will know. This restuarant has been around there for some time and is a time-honoured brand. It even received an award for that. The place is a few shops away from Daily Queen and it is on the second floor. 

Lotus stuffed with glutinour rice drizzled with some sweet sauce.. Very exquisite. 

Some type of local delicacy. Sweet. 

Fried pork cooked in sweet and sour sauce aka Gao lou rou

Then we finally relented to having Daily Queen ice cream for dessert. It's an ice cream franchise that we saw multiple times here and never once in Malaysia. I picked cheesecake with red berries, YK and PL choose raisins and cookie crumbs, and CL picked something with yoghurt. I liked mine enough but I think the cookie crumb in YK and PL's was nice! Not soggy, it was bordering on crispy despite being mixed with ice-cream.

And.. and they serve their Blizzard upside down. So cool!

Also view my trip to:
1. Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province
2. Nanjing, Jiangsu Province
3. Shanghai
4. Wuzhen, Zhejiang Province