If Tomorrow Never Comes

So there's all the buzz about 21 December 2012 being the end of the world. To be frank, I really dont see how the world will end on that day. But then again, you can never really expect the world to have a written down expiry date. I reckon if the world really had to end, it would just disappear just as simply as it had appeared with a big bang. So if you think of it that way, there is a slight possibility that the world might end. Of course, the people that calculated 21 December as D-day could very well have miscalculated and surprise surprise, it's 22 December and not 21. Oopsies.

Well, I dont wanna seem like the ignorant little freak that doesnt care a damn that the world is ending. I dont believe it will end just yet, simply because there is still some goodness in this world. The world will end when this world really has no hope or glimmer of humanity to it, in my honest opinion. Till then, we survive. Going back to the-world-is-coming-to-an-end-topic, my first guess is that 22 December will come just like any other day. Maybe you will get some extra smiles or laughters on that day from people grateful to be alive (or perhaps a few groans from those who want to avoid the impending examinations!). But let's just say the world will end this 21 December, have you really done everything you wanted in life?

For me, I probably cannot say that I did. You can check my Bucket List to see how unaccomplished I am, but that is a different story. But am I happy? How would I want to spend my last day really? I would like to think that most people would want to spend it with the ones they love. Because that is the case for me. But if you reflect back on it, yes, writing letters, sending messages of how much a person means to you just because the world is going to end is kind of.. *speechless* really. For a minute, I did contemplate sending out messages to everyone who means a lot to me on that day, but then I realised that I wouldnt really do it for my family. And my mom is really the most important person in my life. So what does sending messages to tell people how much they mean really mean?

Yes, for me, I will appreciate your thought if I ever receive a message from any of my friends. Simply because I know how serious some people view 21 December to be. But messaging isnt my style. People who I care for should know how much they mean to me ("constructive notice") and likewise, if you do care for me, I will know through your actions and how long you have been sticking around. thank you in advance. I shall remember glimpses of your faces and random pieces of memories as I watch the world crumble to its end. I will keep you in my memory while my soul gradually separates from my body. For the other silent carers of the world, you may remain silent. Dont have to wait till the end of the world to say goodbye.

Just hope that all goes well this 21 December. People might just go crazy and start shooting themselves in anticipation of the end of the world, which is so not worth it if the end of the world is still eons away. So in the next few days, keep your chill, treasure the people around you like you always have, and savour each moment of life at your own pace.

For all you people who come visit my blog to read regularly, thank you. You guys are the best silent readers! 

The students from Hunan University came on the 21 november 2012. Yesterday, PL, BE and I took them out for bak kut teh at Old Klang Road. The warmth and laughter we shared reminded me so much of the time I was in Guangzhou, where I met my two friends, CL and FC. It seems, with the months that have passed since June, we contact each other less, simply because our lives are different and not likely to converge. But strangely enough, CL and FC always pop up in my mind occasionally and I would so often reminiscent of the days I spent with all my friends in Guangzhou then. And like last night, it was funny that PL and I talked about FC when so many miles away, he and CL were doing the same about us. It's really touching and heart-warming to have these moments in your life. In a way, I am glad I am going to Shanghai this January to visit them. Friends do not always have to be the people you see every day, but the people closest to your heart.  

November Update

With each time we fall and pick ourselves up, we become a little bit more resilient to what made us fall in the first place. Each time I trip, I am more wary of where I put my foot next. And because of that, you cant blame me if I take extra precaution in falling in love.

These months, I feel like I am almost getting myself back. But I can only tell if this is for real several months from now because only then, I know if all this is just a good phase of life I am going through. I hope I have finally started to re-discover myself again. No more hurt, no more unhappiness.

Mid-sem resumes after this weekend. I have completed 2 and 1/4 year of law school already. 1 and 3/4 years of it left. Speaking of which, I have been applying to firms for work during my end of semester break. And it seems, it is really important to know which field I intend on focusing on when I graduate. Personally think it is too soon to decide but was just thinking.. maybe if I had to choose, I will choose commercial law. Though litigation is where all the glory is, I have to be frank with myself and realise that I really am not the type of lawyer you see in court (think Ally McBeal). Anyway, not gonna make any rash decisions on this. Life is all about savouring the moment so I shall not close up my options so soon.

Till then. 

Crazy Random Day

Such an incredible day that began from 4am. Breakfast at Seapark, coffee at SS2, temple visiting in Brickfields and hiking up Thean Hou temple before an early buffet vegetarian lunch in Brickfields. I wish I could write more but I really have too much to write with so little time. Also had cramps after that, which left me unable to move the rest of the day. Tomorrow I might be going off for camp for a few days (no phone, no internet, no whatsoever). So yea you can imagine.. let's hope i aint overdoing meself! 

Third Year Begins

It feels different being a third year law student.

The new freshies one year ago are now seniors, so that makes me a super-senior. The first semester is not so taxing so you kinda feel like you have all the freedom in the world. You get the choice of picking whatever electives you want, in which i picked ballet. I think it is a wonderful thing that we dont just have the choice of picking law subjects all the time. I like the fact that I do not have to be restricted to law, because law can be quite monotonous. Perhaps, it is the trips to China that has both extended my circle of friends as well as taught me what solidarity means. I dont feel like I no longer belong, because I do. But neither does that mean I need to stick to a certain bunch of friends all the time. But when we meet, I know we are genuine friends. I like the idea of having only three law subjects to take this semester compared to my previous semesters where four or five law subjects was the norm. (Though I know I will pay for this stress-free life in future semesters). I look forward to the meaningful semester I have ahead, because this time, I know my priorities. I know myself. I know what I like and dislike, what I need and what I dont.

Here's to a good semester ahead.   

Dum-dee-dum

I will be leaving to Beijing tomorrow. Really a different feeling compared to when I went to Guangzhou just a few months back.

Anyhow, I cant wait. Have been immersing myself in loads of history of late, special thanks to Chuan Lin who has recommended a very interesting Chinese drama as well as telling me all things historical, geographical and political about China!

Will be back with loads of pictures. Till then. 

One Off the Bucket List: Pole-dancing

Pole-dancing is...

Challenging.

Went for my first class today and I am now typing this with sore arms. There is just so much to learn, maybe because i am a beginner and I joined a class where everyone else has at least more experience in pole-dancing than me. You will be surprised at the type of people that attend the class. I can now officially say that pole-dancing isnt just for club dancers or whatnot. The people there were genuinely just dancers.

Learnt a few moves but havent really mastered it perfectly. The instructor was very encouraging. And I really enjoyed the class, despite the fact that my mom was watching my every move from across the room.

Well life has been busy. Will update real soon, when I have the time.

I am Back

According to my dad, I am having withdrawal symptoms from the trip. Well, what do you expect when you have such a good time for 19days? Sometimes you just feel like holing up in your room, recollecting the memories and not letting them simply slip past you.

But no worries, even in the midst of my 'withdrawal', this girl has successfully found her first ever job, but sadly only as a waitresses/hostess at TGIF. I was looking for a job in the F&B industry and this was the closest I got. Still waiting for the replies from the other bakeries and cafes I applied for. But assuming if i dont get a better offer, I will be at TGIF every other day till the semester begins!

Really want to blog about my trip but that will have to wait. Need my feelings to be recollected and settled before blogging. I miss my friends there, and I also miss my friends that came along with me and made the trip fun.

ALSA is planning some activities once the semester reopens. Gotta take this opportunity to settle my ALSA stuff now so that I wont be so busy when the semester begins. 

Quick Farewell

A short post before tomorrow begins. It would be a frantic morning of rushing through my Land notes, making sure the last of my things are packed and ready in my bag, before facing the much awaited Land law exam. It will be the last paper and everyone will be going out to celebrate after that. Well, it would be a quick celebration for me, before rushing off to the airport and making my way to Guangzhou, China. I have heard too many things about that place, and to be frank I really do not know what to expect. Tonight, I feel the jitterbugs. Exams is one thing, going away to a foreign country that doesnt speak my language for almost three weeks is another.

If Blogger is allowed in China, I will continue to update on my food (mis)adventures over there. Well, Facebook and Twitter are for sure not allowed so goodbye to those..

Fear is what eludes me right now. But fear is just an elusion. Just a psychological defence mechanism within my mind. And if I play smart, I can outbeat that fear and yet, at the same time enjoy every bit of my life. This doesnt just apply to my exams, nor the trip that begins tomorrow. There is another part of me that needs to overcome fear. And it is, always easier said than done. Anyways, here's to a fun vacation.

Till then. 

I am grateful for the changes that has happened in the past two days. Though it is too soon to say that I am rejoicing over it, but it is the little efforts like these that truly lights up my days (and my nights). I have been through this before and have come out hurt. So I will proceed with baby steps, and as minimal as expectations can get. But whatever it is, I want you to know that I am happy.

Sleepy Head

A mixture between a rant and update in this entry.

Another semester is almost coming to an end and the only thing short of its completion would be the examinations. Each semester seems to pass by faster than the previous one and this time round, it wasnt any less different.

Tomorrow I shall be attending an interview for a post. The interview would be conducted throughout the whole day and the process reminds me very much of the scholarship interviews I had to attend before. Makes me super nervous as to what I need to expect from tomorrow. As usual, I have not been doing my newspaper reading and my general knowledge is still embarrassingly shallow. The only thing I hope that I can outshine the others would be my enthusiasm for all things new as well as my desire to participate. Wish me luck!

Exams are round the corner.. and as always, I am not prepared, no not just yet. Been busy scurrying about life doing everything but revising. I am surprised by the generosity of the lecturers' in our assessment marks this time round though. It's a good thing. :)

Well I really am tired as I type this. Feel like dozing off but I cant.

Till thennnnnn..  

Life's Like That

Life is tough. Even a fool knows that. Maybe.. a fool would know it even better than most people.

But who's to stop you from making the difficulties in life something to be grateful for?

There are some things in life that we never realise but we do take it for granted. Too many.

I just got off a one-hour phone conversation with a friend in Australia.We havent met nor talked to each other in years. But we have never failed to keep in touch through facebook almost every other day for at least a year now. He called just to see how I was.

Funny how I never saw you as the type of friend I would keep years back. I guess life is like that. You really dont know what's in store for you next, till it's right in front of you. And even then, you can still be oblivious to it.

Seeing is Believing, Maybe

Sometimes when you reach a certain level of acceptance towards a particular person or topic, you no longer feel that same anger, jealousy, anxiety etc. I dont think the 15 year old me would have been able to guess how things would have unfolded. And here I am understanding how life works a teeny weeny bit better.

Some Competition Would Be Good

I.. really dont know how to put this.

This June will not only be a reminder that I have been on this earth for 21 years but it will also be the month that marks the two years that I have been in law school.

Somewhat three months away from THE month, I feel like I am almost no better than I was when I first stepped into law school. Maybe a little more familiar with the books in the law library, a little more pro at using Lexis Nexis to find cases, a little better in carrying myself, but.. somehow, I feel like something is missing.

To be honest, I have been stuck at Article 5 of the Federal Constitution for the past week. Maybe it's lack of motivation, or maybe it's because I dont really know where to start reading. I highly suspect it's my lack of enthusiasm for anything to do with Public law though. And it's sad that me, as a budding lawyer in slightly more than two years, knows only that much more about the law than the typical man on the road.  

Once again, I am on the road of self-doubt. Wondering whether law has been the right choice for me. I still dream about baking and inventing new recipes.. but the intensity of my regret for not picking something else besides law is also slowly, but surely going away too. I realise I am contradicting myself much.. but it's difficult to explain how I feel right now. I seem to be getting everything besides my Constitutional law revision done. And dont let me get started on Administrative law.

Consti test will be on Wednesday. I really hope I can get some reading done by then. Fingers crossed. 

My Epitome of Manliness

This is not just any dog. This is Serdang, THE dog.

I met him at Paws Mission (now renamed as Second Chance) in August last year and have been 'in love' with him ever since. He is not the type of dog that I would normally like but there is something about Serdang that really keeps me so attracted to him. And when I went to the shelter today to check on him after so long, he looked better than ever! 

He has grown taller and he looks more handsome than ever. That asides, he was the same old fella. I know it feels kinda wrong to call a dog, man. And it might be a little weird to hear a human girl blog so passionately about a dog but I really cant help it. 

If you ever asked me to describe what attracts me to a man, well.. Serdang has it all. (despite not being hu-man). 

He is cool. 

He is laid-back. The way he carries himself is so.. Serdang. Very relaxed. 

He is calm and collected. While all the dogs get excited with each new visitor that comes to the shelter, Serdang will bark wisely and selectively. And he NEVER jumps on people. Something I find very cool as most dogs that get excitedly easily normally do that (and though you might enjoy the attention, it can get exasperating if their paws are wet and muddy!)

He has the most beautiful eyes. AND the cutest pair of ears. 

He knows when to listen and when to stand firm on his stance. Read: A great leader! As I was the one that trained him last year over a span of three months, I can say that Serdang is an alpha-male. (A term to indicate that a dog is the leader of his pack). He knows when to lead and when to let his followers have a say. Totally such a turn on! 

 Oh.. here's a picture of me walking him. He's such a joy to walk to compared to most dogs. He rarely pulls and drags you wherever he goes. (Most dogs are like that). Perhaps what makes me attracted to him is that he is different from most dogs I know.

And most importantly, I know that I can trust him. I know he wont snap at me. Or smudge my shirt with muddy paw prints. I know he wont forget me. And he never drags me everywhere. There was once, another trainer was holding him and when he managed to get out of the leash, he ran to me!

So yea. Although guys and dogs are two different things, but I think if you read between the lines, you can get a rough idea of what I think makes a man, manly. No, not the muscles or that six-pack. Manliness goes beyond skin deep.

Sporty Saturday

Another three weeks have passed since he came back and once again, he leaves. I cannot imagine how I endured the past one year, or even the past six months. Just so many ups-and-downs the whole time. And now, the third leg of five semesters over there begins for him. I really dont know what to expect this time round. The first leg witnessed our break-up as well as me picking up the pieces, second leg.. I began to find my feet back again and this time... well, it has just begun. So I dare not say for sure. Experience has told me not to raise my hopes high or even dream of things that are too far ahead.

So.. that's all I will say about it. I rarely blog about it anymore and this is one of my few posts I will share with you all about him. He isnt my boyfriend, but he is still nevertheless, an important friend to me. Probably one of my oldest friends (in terms of years of friendship) I have ever had.

Just finished the UM Law Fac Run. Havent ran like that for a long time. But I just kept on going, even if at most times, I was merely walking (how pathetic!). haha. I started off alright but eventually ran out of stamina and then people started overtaking me. Mostly maintained at 6th position throughout the run but around the end, I got 5th. Then when I reached the finishing point, I found out that the original person who got 3rd place didnt want to receive the medal (or smtg like that.) So yea, I got 4th. Grateful for everything I could achieve today. Afterall, it really has been a loooooong time since I did any competitive running.

That's all from me today. Thinking of baking a Mississipi Mud Pie (lots of chocolate-y goodness!) but then again, I'm pretty left behind in my studies. Really need this weekend to catch up. And tonight I will be going for another round of distributing food to the homeless around KL at midnight!! This Saturday is awesome!

Self-Pity

No guessing. Self-pity is probably one of the worst medicines out there in this world, for a broken heart. Not only is it less effective, it has many side effects as well.

Done, Done, and Done

Note: Read any further only if you are interested in reading rants and whines about life.

The past few days have been extremely hectic and I suspect that will be the case for the next few weeks. Oh, how I hope for the mid sem break! But I know even that will disappear within a blink of an eye. My life goes by that fast.. or wait, does everyone else's life go at that same bullet train pace too???

Anyway, just wanna express a teeny weeny bit of relief for the things I have settled today. Drafted a ton of letters for ALSA (various activities going on in April and each activity on its own has multiple stuff to apply on - and yes, applying need letters. Things dont get applied while we facebook!) Also, sent in the proposal to set up Taekwon-do GTF Club today. What a relief that the first step has finally been taken, considering that it was Chinese New Year when I first went to acquire about setting up a club. People really need to know how to be more efficient. But nevertheless, thankful for the people I am working with. Also managed to do a little bit of reading up on Islamic Banking and Finance before I came online to blog. This semester has been really harsh on me so far. Compared to previous semesters, I am really having some difficulty catching up on lectures. I keep telling myself that I can do it by reading it on my own but when this becomes too overwhelming.. I am not too sure. As it is, the time I have reserved for revision is spent staring at the computer screen. I am that unmotivated to read on Land law, I guess. Seriously have to get into that studying spirit fast or I will be soon left behind.

Moving on.. things that I have yet to deal with.

There will be a Criminal law test next Tuesday. Will need to start my reading VERY soon. Was totally clueless in criminal tutorial today.

All the letters for ALSA are still pending. probably will need to do lots of follow up work next week and the week after. oh well.. life of a Secretary. That's what they do right? :p

Tutorials. Do I need to say more?

Will also be starting my new stint as a blogger for Paws Mission, now renamed as Second Chance. First meeting this Saturday afternoon.

My life is crazy. I know that. TQVM.

Politics

Never have been a fan of politics and never will be.

But even when you avoid something, it does not necessarily mean that you never have to deal with it. Sometimes, the issue sticks itself right under your nose.

In my idealistic world, everyone will express their dissent at the earliest moment possible to minimise the misunderstandings that are likely to occur. Why keep it inside only to express it later if what you are really wanting is for the best of everybody?

Sadly, it isnt so easy in reality. In reality, people might have different ambitions, different ideas on how to achieve their objectives (assuming their objectives are the same) and as usual, everyone is different.

That's where the mess comes in. I just hope this is settled as quickly and as amicably as possible. I really dislike being stuck in the middle.

Sneak peek: Iced Sugar Cookies

Here's a quick peek at what I have in store for the coming days. Will be making the glaze tomorrow. Really hope it works. Coz if they do, they will be really pretty. And it will be in conjunction with Valentine's day.

*Note: This entry was slightly edited due to present circumstances. :p