I thought I was strong enough, thought i could hold it up and not break down. But I did tonight. You break my heart, time and time again. And I so foolishly let you break it.

I find it hard to accept that you are gone from my life.

I find it hard to accept that I mean so little to you now.

I find it hard to accept that you dont have sleepless nights because of us.

that I might never see your face for a long long time

that I will have to celebrate my birthday alone this time, and the years to come

that I can never call you again to tell you about my day

never will I hear your gentle voice comfort me in distress

never step into your comfortable room again

never have you hug me

and that I would have to

pack our stuff together in a box and keep it away

learn to move on and get over a love lost

accept that some things arent meant to be

fight the need to reach out to you

resist the urge to know what your life is like

i really dont want this to end

i almost cant recall what my life was without you

i dont want to go to places we normally go to be reminded that i wouldnt be going there with you again

i dont want to watch the movies we watched together for fear that they provoke memories

i dont want to see our old friends and teachers, for i do not welcome their questions

i dont want to look at our things, only to fall back into reality knowing that those things were only good for when we are together but hurts when we arent

i dont want to see your FB one day to find that you have alrd moved on

i dont want to read the msgs and letters you used to write because it will remind me of the irony of the situation today

i dont want to see pics of us in better times for those smiling faces are only gloating at my misery

i dont want to wake up one day only to realise that i have not only lost my bf, but also one of my best-est friends in my life

i dont want to lose you

but i know

i know that this split is inevitable

i dont really have a say in this

i just wish i can get this over with

it really is very hard to accept that you decided to change overnight

much harder to accept that you have stopped loving me

i dont want to forget those beautiful memories

and even the not-so-beautiful ones

'coz they remind me of how pure our love used to be

but everything i do, just keeps going back to those bittersweet fragments in my head

i really want to let go

so i can stop hurting

i just want to stop thinking of you

stop loving you